tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32613775962821850962024-02-06T18:30:24.326-08:00my year as a movie star & best-selling author!!!kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.comBlogger238125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-52275467312936076852011-05-02T20:34:00.000-07:002011-05-02T20:34:24.389-07:00The Dream is soooo close...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><b><span class="body">"The technology available for film-making now is incredible, but I am a big believer that it's all in the story.</span></b>"<br />
<b style="color: red;"><span class="bodybold"> - Robert Redford.</span></b></div><div style="color: red;"><b><span class="bodybold"> </span></b> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEitdJDNXXcB25stEVe4_saJ5RF3WwKrA4F7ZihjIKA2giJsKefBrpBw934ON5YxUQeLapba3BR24SM7NL1QlAlOsI-XiN9wmlIgpkn3Y5lP48s0bHHRdSZZMrW-I8b0CV-L3NOnF4aTx/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEitdJDNXXcB25stEVe4_saJ5RF3WwKrA4F7ZihjIKA2giJsKefBrpBw934ON5YxUQeLapba3BR24SM7NL1QlAlOsI-XiN9wmlIgpkn3Y5lP48s0bHHRdSZZMrW-I8b0CV-L3NOnF4aTx/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;"><br />
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I can touch it!<br />
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And I was compelled to write this blog today because I am feeling the work ethic kick(start) back in!<br />
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I am feeling motivated!!! And excited to work!!!<br />
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So... on this note, I am keeping this short -- but I just wanted to say that I was inspired by a New Yorker whose dedication to putting up a great play in Manhattan has inspired me to produce a play and a short film this year... and maybe more!<br />
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I am sending you all love! And I just wanted to let you all know that last year was not for naught -- I am producing and starring in my first feature! And I am back on the market again as a best-selling author -- because the distributor lost the money for our book series -- but not to worry, every day, I am working towards my goal of getting my second book deal this year!!!<br />
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Let us make this happen together.<br />
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I am in NJ/NYC and the DREAM IS ALIVE.<br />
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I send you all love... Always!</div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-57634798867930010202011-01-18T00:40:00.000-08:002011-01-18T00:40:10.317-08:00BAD 2010 Wrap-up Part 1.<div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>"Courage breeds creativity."</b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>- Martin Luther King, Jr. </b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PbUtL_0vAJk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PbUtL_0vAJk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbUtL_0vAJk"></a></span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">My little blades, what a perfect day to write you of my BAD's of last year -- "BAD's," which were actually perfect.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Perfect.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Not that I thought this at the time. I actually was what I like to call "Les Mis" -- pronounced like the musical, for dramatic, flamboyantly humorous effect. Zoiks! That was a mouth-full.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">But seriously, blades, I went through "the winter of discontent," though it was a warm, mushy summer in Los Angeles. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And I felt like -- nothing was happening. Why? I wondered and cried, why? I had no updates, no date dates, no money, nothing remotely sexy of which to write. I was just a girl in a city-less city with nothing to share.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And I longed for the me who had updates. Who was, as I was sharing with my dear friend Jade, when I was in NYC last October, "golden."</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">When I was the girl who was popular in high school, dated Kyle Andre during ice hockey season because he played ice hockey. Okay -- it wasn't that bad, I wasn't that bad, Kyle was cute and I had a crush on his wavy, almost black hair, and I could only imagine where he grew up -- the mysteries of attending prep schools with boarding students -- you always have the mystery lingering around in our head... Where is he from? What are her parents like? I'd love to see their houses!</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">But, yes... I felt golden.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then, I went on to Barnard where I graduated early -- and before that, I established the Barnard Literary Society, won awards I never knew existed before I won them, wrote for The Barnard Bulletin, The Columbia Spectator, created a literary magazine, wrote a poem a night, worked out prodigiously, ate ritualistically & healthily because of my dance class and swimming and running -- and no, I wasn't neurotic. I was ALIVE. I was living my dreams. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I remember my friend Bebe saying to me, "We should have our own literary society here at school. Why don't we have one?" And we were way up in the top floor lounge of the newish dorm called Sulzberger Hall -- yes, named after the Sulzbergers who owned The New York Times, and then -- guess what?</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I founded it. The Literary Society. I went around posting signs all over Barnard. I asked people questions. I talked to professors. I created <i>something. </i>No, I <i>created </i>something. I made something real, tangible, just because I thought it. My thought -- my friend's thought mixed with mine, as is so often the case, mixed with mine -- and then, I created it.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And I <i>loved</i> it. I tended to it like a garden. And I remember one of my all time favorite professors coming to my Barnard Literary Society's Coming Out Party -- that sounds like what it's not -- but you all get the point -- this was my way of sharing my society with everyone!</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And so... Professor Edward Taylor came to the party. And I remembered how he looked out at everyone sipping their drinks and munching on the hors d'oeuvres and leaning in to say to me, "After so often a student does something like this. And I think it is amazing." And I beamed.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Golden.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was in love.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Golden.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">He attended Yale and I'd hop the Metro North almost every weekend of my sophomore and junior years to be with him. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I started writing my memoir -- which at the time, I called "my novel," I actually saved it on my desktop as "my novel." Zoiks!</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was listening to Seal and not just retelling stories about my mom and her past -- I was flying -- because I was c-r-e-a-t-i-n-g her story. I wasn't retelling, I was imagining. And it felt like slivers of heaven whenever I saw the ice cubes in the iced tea of my beautiful Aunt Lila at her lovely ranch home in Mississippi. Her sliding glass doors leading out to her flat, green backyard...</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Because at least in my mind, it was these things. And in my mind, she'd tell me stories as she sucked on the ice cubes from her iced tea -- sweet tea -- and I'd just listen, happily listen... Nothing better than a tall glass of sweating sweet tea, and the sugary southern voice of our beautiful aunt as she drips nostalgic about her childhood with my mom. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">At least in my story, in mind, this was how it went.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And I actually won a Ford Foundation Grant to go down there -- I ended up traveling to DC to </span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">interview various women and men who worked at Arab American organizations. And the most rewarding was my trip to The Museum of Natural History where I visited </span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Arab American Archives and got to listen to my Great Uncle John retelling what it was like to be a Lebanese man in Mississippi in the 1930's. P.s. -- not as bad as you would think. They were, I believe, the only ethnicity allowed to vote in that state before the Civil Rights Movement.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Fascinating.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And golden.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'd interned for Joel Siegel -- I was the only intern he'd ever hired to be his personal assistant and he paid me out of his pocket. I stayed at his penthouse while he was away, I attended more screenings for movies than I made dinners at home.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I met Morgan Freeman, I B Roll-ed the Golden Globes for GMA in LA. I had a lusty night with a young producer there. I wore a great dress, smiled widely and happily. And I decided I was going to be an actress.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then, Broadway ensued shortly thereafter.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was on stage with Natalie Portman and Linda Lavin, Broadway stars such as George Hearn (who originated Sweeney Todd on Broadway), Pulitzer Prized Nominated Austin Pendelton and -- <i>The Diary of Anne Frank</i> was our show! I am half Dutch and my Dad was in the camps in Java, Indonesia as my grandparents were missionaries. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">This story spoke to me. Broadway spoke to me. (I'd grown up going to shows with my family and I dreamt of the stage. )</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Golden yet again.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">... But somewhere amidst the traffic of Los Angeles, the uninspired television shows, and the lack of men whom I was falling for, I started to feel less golden, more like a thinly plated silver...</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">But, I was told my a number of bright, bright, evolved souls to hold tight. One even said, and I think I quoted this in my last blog, "It's gonna get so good for you, you're gonna laugh that you ever worried."</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Welp, I had to go through the valley of darkness to get there/here, but I am seeing it all again... This time, as a woman.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And damn.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">It feels good, my little blades. It feels good.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">But -- let's leave it as this -- this is only part 1 of the BAD. I'll get into the specifics of this time period and what brought me here in my next blog.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">This one has been long-long-long. But I hope it's been juicy,juicy,juicy!</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And that you've dug some of my past dalliances with gold in my past. Because what is rising within me now is golder than any gold I have ever known.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Perhaps sometimes, my little blades, we need to put ourselves away, soften up our edges, snuggle into our own consciousness before we can go out into the great wild yonder and be extraordinary.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Or perhaps as my former neighbor Jenny Miller so wisely put it, "Kieren, you were building little buildings before. And now, you are building skyscrapers. And they take longer to build."</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And with these words of inspiration, think, my little blades, of what skyscrapers you are currently building... Think of what buildings you created in the past and how your golden present is vaster, shinier, more loving, more courageous than ever before. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Or think -- of what you CAN create. Pull the seat belts off of your dreams and see what it feels like to fly down the unbeaten path with nothing holding you back. Where would you go? </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I... alas, am going to bed. Hehe.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">But I shall write you more tomorrow. The tangibles of this time. And how I grew. And grew. And grew.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thank you for reading.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I send you all Love... Always.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-1910075708465179882011-01-09T10:03:00.000-08:002011-01-09T10:03:01.020-08:00My 2010 Goals Wrap-up!<div class="tweet-row"><div class="tweet-meta"><div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="tweet-user-name"> <span class="tweet-full-name"></span></span><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>"What we believe, we shall become."</b></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>- Kvdb.</b></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Happy New Year, my Little Blades!!! First of all, I want to thank you all for following my blog, for coming along for my ride, for reading my triumphs and my disappointments. For empathizing with me as I expressed my dreams and worked tenaciously to see them come true. And I have to say, what has come out of this blog honestly has gone beyond my thoughts -- I have had a " cyber friend" send me a book in the mail</span></span></b></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>and then, an Itunes album of meditative chants. I have debated with another and eventually asked him to stop reading my blog. I have made new friends who have shared with me how comforting it was to read my blog -- and how less alone they felt because of it.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>I had a friend at my high school reunion this past summer tell me that he's an avid reader and that if I needed an proof reading, he was my man. </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>I've had older friends -- of a few years -- tell me that they felt they were really getting to know me for the first time -- my insides. And when I "didn't feel" like blogging, I'd make myself. And then, when I <i>knew </i>that I needed a break, I gave one to myself. All the while, learning to listen to myself, honor my voice within, pay attention to my gut.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>To wrap up an entire year though... tough stuff! But here alas, on this gray day, I shall attempt to put together my good/bad list -- which ultimately is all good. And how my "best-selling author and movie-star" blog has turned out. Plus, I will tell you all what my next steps are for this year -- in other words, how last year has become this golden year... And -- I shall include what 3 psychics said. Zoiks! And who was right and how. (I am starting to feel like an infommercial -- and I am almost about to say "You get 3 free Ginzu knives for reading my column today! Call within the next 9 minutes. And I'll throw in a tomato twaddler!")</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>So... without further ado, here we go... !!!</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"> The Best of my life in 2010.</span><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>(and these are in no particular order :)</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>The Best.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>1. WME: Signing with WME Voice-Over. This agency headed by Erik Seastrand is undeniably the best VO agency in the city. Erik is kind and funny and personable and has a killer work ethic.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>I have said to people before that I was with an agency before WME for VO and being with them as opposed to being with WME is like dating a guy vs. being in love with him.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>It is being with "good" and being with the "best." And trust me, they are miles apart.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>I've booked more with WME in 4 months than in all of last year with Innovative Artists.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>Plus, William Morris is where I began -- they put me on Broadway -- my first gig! -- and this feels like a glorious full circle.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>2. MOVIE STAR: Having a major production company email me in mid-December to see if I wanted to meet with them about producing my movie!!! This is a company -- a person -- I have wanted to work with -- someone who has wanted to work with me too -- for over two years! This also feels kharmically perfect. Like something we have been working towards...</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>3. PSYCHIC: And it's funny because a psychic told me last summer that the end of my year was going to get "So good that you'll laugh that you ever worried." Keep smiling," she said. "And," she continued, "It is only going to get better!" I met her at an event where she was giving free readings and so for like maybe ten minutes, she "read me." And she also told me about my man... But, more of that on a later blog :)It's funny because I am not a big psychic person -- and I only went because she was free and my friends and I thought it would be fun. But, I have to say -- she was right. She really saw me. And these things did, have started to happen. In fact, at a party before Christmas in Silverlake, I chanced upon another psychic -- a supercool, sexy British woman, who also started to "read me" -- at a hipster party of all places. And when I told her that I was "craving Broadway," she told me, "There is something much bigger for you." She said, "Go home and sleep tonight and when you wake up, you will know what it is." And I did. And I did. :)</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>4. HOME: One of my best friends, Jesika, has moved in with me and literally transformed my life. It is so lovely to cook with someone and to share bills and to hang out with them, to have a "built-in best friend" is heaven... And this is the first time I have lived with someone in years, so living with her feels like preparation for the future... : And living with her, I feel, has made all of my dreams feel closer -- because I have opened up and shared my space and myself and remembered, I have remembered, what it felt like in New York when my career was breaking open and I had a roommate and I was fulfilled. Another full circle.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>5. THE LITTLE BEAST COMPANY/Honestly, the blog. Welp, with my blog, I tweeted and facebooked it and my social network has begun to burgeon. I have connected with SO many people this way -- through Facebook and Twitter and this community of friends that continues to grow and grow... And this blog has made me into a more honest person. Into a person whose dreams have become supported by almost cyber shoulders... I have felt the love and support of strangers who have cheered me on as I have succeeded and who've picked me up when I was falling. This is an extraordinary aspect of these new networks we are all in the process of making -- we meet these, what I call, "cyber angels," with whom we strike up unlikely friendships. And I for one, am grateful for them. For all of you reading my blog at this very moment.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>And... I had my first party on December 12th of last year to celebrate my Little Beast Company! I was a producing partner of Little Bird Theater Company and then, when my partner and I broke up last December -- a year ago -- she wanted to run her own company and with a non-actor, I felt sort of lost in the beginning. But, when I talked to Shalom -- my teacher, he smiled widely and told me that he had been waiting for this news. That this was the best thing for me. And even though I have missed doing our beloved one act festivals, I believe he was right. </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>I am working on getting my movie done. I am doing a play with the Vs. Theatre Company and my Little Beast Company will do our first festival later this fall!</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>We are all moving along at a fabulous clip!</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>And these are the career updates thus far -- blog part 1! </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>There are more updates as well -- but I will blog about the "worst" which is actually also the "best" tomorrow :)</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>But as far as being a movie star -- I am on my way, my little blades! And tomorrow and Monday, I shall be reading through my movie and one act play to see what I like and want to edit to make even more exraordinary. Screenplays have always scared me and that is whay this is perfect for me. I have written children's books and plays and articles and a column and essays and a memoir. I CAN DO THIS. I can write a movie!</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>And so... this is how last year ended for me... Glitteringly. Promisingly. Perfectly.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>And now... for the next blog, The WORST, which is also the BEST.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">"You're gonna make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <a class=" twitter-hashtag" href="http://twitter.com/#%21/search?q=%23YES" rel="nofollow" title="#YES">#YES</a>!!!!"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="icons"><span class="retweet-icon">Reverend Run Wisdom via Twitter.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="icons"><span class="retweet-icon"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="icons"><span class="retweet-icon"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="icons"><span class="retweet-icon"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="icons"><span class="retweet-icon"> </span><em></em></span></div><span class="icons"><div class="extra-icons"> <span class="inlinemedia-icons"></span></div></span> </div><span class="tweet-user-name"> </span> <div class="tweet-corner"> </div></div><div class="tweet-row"> </div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><i><i> </i></i></h4><h4 style="text-align: center;"><i><i> </i></i></h4><h4 style="text-align: center;"><i><i> </i></i></h4><h4 style="text-align: center;"><i><i>Nina: ... "I understand now, Kostya, that in our work, acting or writing, it makes no difference, what matters isn't fame or glory, it isn't all the things I dreamed about, but the capacity to endure. To bear your cross and have faith. I have faith and it doesn't hurt so much now. When I think of my vocation I don't fear life"</i></i></h4>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-13271293718915067692010-12-26T19:21:00.000-08:002010-12-26T19:21:29.609-08:00the perfect day for a blizzard.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwQKER6PovyYZ1a5V3Adow2D9Sv3gOEvV06UAT-eCCp_oU-aShMU337N5OoFvXjM2unqHIhZKBCnPLaBe2FghYwsTP2Uv2V4rfJ8dctuJHDUmrWcPwpz7qYoLJJeGN4cRFyPmrD9gV3wu8/s1600/cranbury+inn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwQKER6PovyYZ1a5V3Adow2D9Sv3gOEvV06UAT-eCCp_oU-aShMU337N5OoFvXjM2unqHIhZKBCnPLaBe2FghYwsTP2Uv2V4rfJ8dctuJHDUmrWcPwpz7qYoLJJeGN4cRFyPmrD9gV3wu8/s320/cranbury+inn.jpg" width="320" /> </a></td><td style="text-align: center;"> </td><td style="text-align: center;"> </td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The fireplace at The Cranbury Inn during the Blizzard of December 26th, 2010.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>"Fear not. There is light in the darkness."</b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>- Suzanne Schafer-Coates </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">My Dad has been playing piano in the Presbyterian Church at the same lovely retirement home in our town of New Jersey for over 20 years now. And so </span></span>last night when he asked me if I were coming to church this morning, naturally I said "Yes." I almost always come when I am home.</b><br />
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<b>And truthfully, I love to hear my father play piano -- he is truly rhapsodic. He fashions a song as only he can -- with jazzy riffs and never neglecting the higher chords, which his fingers <i>always</i> include in a song. In fact, whenever I picture him playing, I picture his rather compact hands deftly stretching across the keyboard towards the high keys as they lift up the song and give it a sort of bursting, exciting, the walls are singing too! sound.</b><br />
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<b>But sermon-wise, I just -- I'm a still a touch off from my stomach virus and I don't particularly feel "filled up" by sermons -- ever since I was little -- but I shall go. I love my Dad and I have known this church since I was little and I shall go...</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>And as the snow began to dust the roads, I made my way towards the church in the home. My town is so small that two roads got me there. </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b> I collected a program from an elderly woman -- after all, this is not a youthful crowd in the retirement home -- and made my way to the second row of chairs, right behind my Dad. To my right, I saw a scoop of young people -- three young women and a mom, and a middle-aged man behind them. This perked me up! Honestly, all of the white heads in the church begin to look like a mass of q-tips as your eyes glaze over with the candle lights and the Christmas tree and the poinsettias. Well, to begin with, the minister -- Suzanne Schafer-Coates sang a song, a Jamaican Christmas song my Mom always requested from a church friend when she was sick. It's called, <i>Mary's Boy Child. </i>And so, immediately, I was hooked. My eyes even watered a little. This brought me back. And knowing that my Dad and Suzanne had chosen this song and mentioned Ron Anderson who would play it on his banjo, I think, brought me directly back to my youth. Like a roller coaster that within seconds has you shoved up onto the top of a mountain, I was shoved up into my youth. And it was beautiful. My Dad flaked off in a part of the song and I saw him make a funny face at the piano and that made the whole thing even better -- it was honest. Imperfect, clipped, and it reminded me of the Navajo Tribe. I've mentioned them in blogs of the past -- they always put an indentation in their jewelry because they believed that only God could make things perfectly. And so did my Dad apparently, this morning. </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>So... Then, these two sisters sang a duet. And they harmonized perfectly, seemingly effortlessly. I adored their voices. One of them reminded me of my former producing partner of Little Bird Theater Company and that also brought a smile to my face.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>There were a few minor readings from the elder who was there from the other downtown Presbyterian Church and some Christmas songs and then, the sermon. Once again, I have learned to expect nothing. In fact, when I was little and forced to go to the church with my sister, we'd pass notes on the offertory envelopes. Over my mom's lap. Little beasts we were. And then, when I was old enough to really think about what I was saying, say 12 years old -- I bucked against the system.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>I was so turned off of all of the "please forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us" stuff. And I know I sound petulant when I say "stuff," but alas, that's what it felt like to me. A whole lot of unnecessary stuff. Where was the God who was forgiving? And if this God truly forgave us for erring because we are human, then why are we constantly apologizing? I found myself whispering the words of constant self-deprecation and ultimately, I stopped saying them altogether. </b><br />
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<b>And in the past few years, I have happily studying Kabbalah. I found no apologizing, merely methods of bettering myself. And if I fall, which I always assuredly do, I pick myself up and move on. It felt simple, forgiving, practical.</b><br />
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<b>The memories of my childhood church years have warmed me. I've mentioned them in my memoir. And whenever I sip on sugary tea, whenever I hear a church hymn, whenever I think of Sundays as a child, I think happily of our downtown Presbyterian Church.</b><br />
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<b>Today though, I just thought of the promise of a one hour service, hearing my father's music and the lovely snow, which I have longed for in California.</b><br />
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<b>But, when Suzanne -- whose two oldest children I once babysat -- began her sermon intimately and simply, speaking of her youth... When she was a 25 year-old young woman in York, England, alone and broke and freezing cold, scared on Christmas -- away from her family, unable to go home, I was there. I was in the story. I wanted to hear more.</b><br />
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<b>She spoke of how she lived in a house the church was tying to sell. But until they did, it was hers. No heat, the toilet was in the backyard, and it was dark. She sang in the choir and even the church was absolutely freezing!</b><br />
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<b>She said that singing the old Christmas hymns made her happy, but when it came time for <i>Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, </i>she cried. She longed for home.</b><br />
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<b>Then, she said she began to look at the candles in the church and focus on their light. How they lit up the room and she imagined the warmth they were giving off.</b><br />
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<b>She heard the words, the ones the minister spoke from the sermon, words she'd heard countless times before, <i>Fear Not. There is Light in the Darkness.</i></b><br />
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<b>And for the first time ever, she <i>got </i>them. She understood what it meant. And she felt the light. And it guided her. Out of the darkness.</b><br />
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<b>And this is what we study in Kabbalah. That light always pierces through the darkness. That we ARE the light that pierces through the darkness -- or rather -- the light is what we trust -- what is always there for us. Never abandoning us. Even when we feel like it is. Even when we curse it and step on it and spit at it and want to twist the lifeless life out of it. It is there. </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>And this is <i>exactly </i>what Suzanne was preaching about today. That the light was there for her. And I love the double meaning of "light." Both the physical light, which literally warms and brightens us up. And the spiritual/figurative light, which warms (with its "Aha, I am being watched over!" moment) and and brightens us up (with the knowledge we gain that yes, we are not alone.) </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>And I think that when Suzanne was telling her story, we all felt less alone. I love that feeling of all religions, all spiritualities being one. Because they are. We are. We've all been that 25 girl alone in that house in England -- even if we are a 28 year-old man in Seattle or a 50 year-old woman in Germany or a 71 man in Pennsylvania. We have all been there. All done that.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>And by sharing her story, Suzanne brought the story of Christmas to all of us in that little church in that lovely retirement home. She brought the hope that is Christmas, that stubborn faith that we are all risen again, that if we believe, we too can have new life.</b><br />
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<b>Our courage liberates others. I once thought that seeming a certain way was the way to go as an actress. I took time off from acting - a few years -- and when I stepped back in, I had trepidation. And so, I thought -- be this way. Do this. And they will love you.</b><br />
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<b>And the thing is... only when I had the courage to be vulnerable, to trust my gut, to be absolutely and utterly Kieren van den Blink -- was I truly embraced. And believed in. And what I mean when I say -- "utterly Kieren van den Blink" is that only when I brought me to the part -- my quirks and depths and comedy, and in meetings when I was honest, only then did I win.</b><br />
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<b>Today, when Suzanne said, "Fear Not. There is Light in the Darkness," she spoke of her dark moments and those candles in the church, they gave her light and then hope and then, she believed. </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>I've been acquainted with the night... As the Robert Frost poem goes:</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b> I have been one acquainted with the night.</b><br />
<b> I have walked out in rain -- and back in rain. </b><br />
<b>I have outwalked the furthest city light. </b><br />
<b> I have looked down the saddest city lane. </b><br />
<b>I have passed by the watchman on his beat </b><br />
<b>And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain. </b><br />
<b>I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet </b><br />
<b>When far away an interrupted cry</b><br />
<b> Came over houses from another street, </b><br />
<b>But not to call me back or say good-bye; </b><br />
<b>And further still at an unearthly height, </b><br />
<b>O luminary clock against the sky </b><br />
<b> Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right. </b><br />
<b>I have been one acquainted with the night. </b><br />
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<b>And I can tell each and every one of my beloved blades of grass, there is indeed... Light in the Darkness.</b><br />
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<b>And I'll let Van Morrison sing the rest to you as only he can... :)</b><br />
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Love... Always. Happy Holidays, my beloved blades.<br />
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</div></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-68512982226217638992010-12-26T14:38:00.001-08:002010-12-26T14:38:32.981-08:00a sexy song to keep you warm during the blizzard... :)<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3fpKncoeF3g?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3fpKncoeF3g?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-41160457505921826832010-12-10T00:18:00.000-08:002010-12-10T00:18:31.803-08:00Manifesting My Destiny.<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;"><b>"If you want to find God, hang out in the space between your thoughts."</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>- Alan Cohen.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My little blades, I apologize first of all. I said I was going to blog a few days ago and I literally starting falling asleep with the laptop perched somewhat awkwardly -- almost perilously -- in my lap in bed. And then, I just got an email from Allie, one of my lovely followers, and I was reminded of my promise.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, thank you Allie. For keeping me honest. And thank you, Dasha, for pushing me to keep my promise as well.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And so, my little blades... this leads me back to all of you. When I began blogging this year, I had some goals in mind. And as you may remember, I was very specific about them. I was sounding my "barbaric yawp!" so to speak. About what I wanted, what I was manifesting, what I felt I deserved, what I wanted to share with all of you.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And though the year is not over yet, we are indeed winding down... And happily so.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">See, I remember the searching for what I wanted. Looking for God in things big and small. And here is the musical version of what I was seeking... And though it seemed -- even to me -- like what I've been seeking was on the outside -- move star, best-selling author, and millionaire. And quite honestly, I am not at all saying that I no longer aspire to be or see myself as those things. Because I do. But what I have been getting -- more than anything -- is closer to God, to the God in me, to me, I guess you can say. And so... here is the song that sings from my heart what this year has felt like for me...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And then, there is this: December 9th at 11:20pm and here I am at home, with Gatsby. I have a friend living with me. She brings a joy to my home that I didn't even know so acutely I'd be longing for. And I have -- gosh, it's funny because when I've been meeting with my teacher, Shalom, the past few months, he's been telling me how happy he is for me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i>I am so happy for you, Kieren. You are changing so much.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And me looking at him quizzically. Almost like -- <i>Dude. If I were changing so much, then where's my house? My boyfriend? My movie? My books? </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I felt like, I honestly felt like, if I were changing, Shalom, you'd <i>see </i>it. Not just feel it, sense it. There'd be proof. And the kind of proof that I consider proof.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But then, the funny thing is, proof did start to come... <i>It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Hehe. I had to go a little <i>Grinch </i>on your arses! Seeing as it is Christmas :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But seriously though, it did start -- and is starting to come.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And thus, my quote -- I have been meditating almost every morning. Faithfully. For five minutes to fifteen. And boy, has it made a difference. It is the stillness in the beginning of my day that starts me off centered and calm. I then will drink maybe a green tea and eat a small breakfast. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I used to begin -- how funny that "begin" and being" and almost the same word -- my day with a big sugary chai tea from my beloved coffee bean. But the thing is, I remember what my old acting teacher Marjorie used to say to me years ago, "All that sugar is affecting you, Kieren. Cut back on it." And I was mildly horrified at the idea of no chai -- my one treat/weakness/sin/no big deal it's a frickin' tea :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But, when I looked at it -- I was beginning my day foggy. And when I started to meditate, I swear to you all, I started to "know" things or "see" things.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I <i>knew </i>that my friend Scott's new job would be in finances. Before he told me. And that my new friend George's first choice college was Yale. I <i>knew</i> that the manager with whom I was meeting would want to work with me. When I was quiet with myself, I got -- <i>It's gonna be easy. She's gonna want to work with me. </i>And she does. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1. I pictured booking a series of Voice-Overs. Visualized and <i>felt </i>the phone call from WME. And it came today!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">2. I've been picturing a phone call or an email from someone reaching out to me to give me a break and someone did!!! I will share the news on Monday!!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">3. I have been craaaaving getting back on Broadway and then, I get introduced to a film agent at WME -- where I want to be again! Where I started -- and he wants to introduce me to one of the best Broadway agents in NYC -- at WME!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">...I can even see the on-camera commercial I am going to book -- I see it when I am meditating. I picture it. Me and the guy. And our laughing...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But also, what is really making my life better and easier -- is that I am trusting myself more. I am seeing things, and feeling things, and <i>knowing </i>things. And then, I am quiet with them. And then, I trust them. Me. My gut.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It, life, is sooo much easier when we trust our guts. When we manifest our own destinies. When we know what we want and we see it, work towards it. My friend Tobey says most people don't succeed because they don't put one foot in front of the other.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, yes. I am meditating. But, then, I <i>act on what I see.</i> I make the phone call to meet with my commercial agent to share my vision with her. And she introduces me to the manager.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I email me VO agent and tell him my vision/goal of booking a spot before the holiday.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am bringing all of these people, my champions, in on my dream. Along with me. They are then a part of my vision and making it happen. And life is SO much more powerful, our dream SO much more obtainable -- they are always obtainable -- but they will happen faster and in a richer way when we involve our team. friends. family. agents. manager. lawyer. whomever our people are, or may be.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Honestly, I thought of <i>Akeelah and the Bee</i> the other day when I thought about my new company, The Little Beast. And the movie we are making. And I thought of how the little girl in the movie involves pretty much everyone she comes across in her life in her dream of winning the spelling bee.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The mailman and her mom, her brother and her brother's friends. Her tutor. Her teacher. Her girlfriends. Everyone. And guess what? She wins! It is the power of many. We can manifest our dreams more quickly and richly and fully by including other people along the way, empowering them as they empower us.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When I attended the Women's Conference a few months back and Oprah spoke, she said, <i>If you want your dreams to come true, make them about something larger than yourself, something that benefits other people.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I believe that is why Little Bird was a success. We sold our friend's paintings and photographs, we showcased our friend's writing and acting and directing and music, we produced all of it. And we <i>all </i>benefited.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And now... I feel the power of ALL again.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Since I began blogging, I:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1. Signed with WME for Voice Overs and have booked more in 4 months than I did all last year.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">2. Signed with Arete for On Camera Commercials. And I have been On Avail 3 times and have a better relationship with my agent than I have had since NYC.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">3. Have a manager who is passionate about me -- for exactly who I am.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">4. I am making my movie -- every day, I move closer.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">5. Lost my children's book deal :( (due to financial problems with the distributor). But am reaching out to contact Barnard Grads and whomever I am referred to who can help in getting them published. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> 6. Not a millionaire yet, but on my way! Every day, I am growing wealthier.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And most importantly, and Shalom pointed this out, it started inside of me and began to move out.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I started with meditation. I started in the quiet. I focused on what I wanted. I saw it and felt it and it became mine.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Even with dating. I am dating again! And I can see my husband. I feel him, I sit on his lap, I laugh with him, I already know his hair... :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Amazing stuff.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I wanted to be with WME again. Always. It was my first agency, my first love. (WMA was:)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I wanted to book commercials again -- great exposure and money and fun!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I want to be a movie star! To light up the screen and to inspire, to make people laugh, to move them. And this is happening too... !!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am not giving up, my phoenixes, not on my beloved books either.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My Grandfather, my Dutch Grandfather, during World War II when he was separated in the camps from my Grandmother and my uncle and Daddy, he found comfort in a book written by a well-renowned British minister called, <i>The Significance of Silence.</i> And now I get it. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Silence brings us closer to us.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Listen, my little blades. You will hear the truth.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's like what Glynda the good witch says to Dorothy, <i>"You had it in you all along. It was always there."</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, have the courage to be quiet. And to listen. And then -- go out there into this big and wilding world... And give 'em hell.<i> </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I love you all... Always.<i> </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-45695926972557723452010-11-24T00:27:00.000-08:002010-11-24T00:27:38.644-08:00Dum Dums for Dumb Weather!<div style="text-align: center;"><b style="color: red;">"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls. "<br />
- Mother Teresa </b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGSs5-NAolOMeMngGrT82G3d2g7ZvsvOl3mWymPTh6jQsmkE-oEDPJFFOIjc4kN_VNbC2iGIHlqgfC8cadLinuGdC0JeinL196uoeYvOIpP0_mkODYHNSFXY1Q5w3MG4WVC3Sv0ej4P19o/s1600/74514_10150090285901942_628146941_7033223_6875330_s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGSs5-NAolOMeMngGrT82G3d2g7ZvsvOl3mWymPTh6jQsmkE-oEDPJFFOIjc4kN_VNbC2iGIHlqgfC8cadLinuGdC0JeinL196uoeYvOIpP0_mkODYHNSFXY1Q5w3MG4WVC3Sv0ej4P19o/s1600/74514_10150090285901942_628146941_7033223_6875330_s.jpg" /></a></div>the thing is Amy and I always walked to walk together -- for over 4 years now. and then this year, it was different -- Amy felt overburdened at home -- super busy with work and family. And I too felt overwhelmed -- I was planning my first movie and working hard for big big things. I wanted to be shooting my movie this fall -- and this was to be my reason why I could not walk.<br />
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Well, my little beasts, the movie has not yet happened -- key word -- YET. but -- I am on my way to developing it. And so, I was here still. In LA. Ready to do something -- but I didn't know what exactly what to do -- I mean, we couldn't walk because it was too late. And yet, I felt -- and Amy felt down in San Diego -- that we had to do something. Something to support the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walkers -- during their 60 mile 3 day walk.<br />
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So, I sent out an email -- she said she'd been feeling the same way -- that we should indeed cheer them on. I was to take a train down. And we'd buy some poster board and make signs. We'd buy some candy maybe and cheer them on!<br />
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I decided to take the train and head on down to SD... The ride was what made me think of the quote I chose -- I was quiet. It was lovelier than driving a car. It was a time to read and look out the window. To write in my journal and to watch the world go by.<br />
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So often in this city because we have to drive to most places, we tune out the world around us -- we are tubed up in our cars on a slamming freeway, we turn on music or the radio or we call a friend and chat.<br />
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I do these things. Usually.<br />
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But on the train, the Surfliner, I was quiet. And I read and read and read. And I wrote and wrote and wrote.<br />
<br />
Heaven.<br />
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And so, when I got down to SD, and Amy picked me up in Solana Beach and then ducked into a CVS while I sat in her car with her little son waiting, and then popped back in again with a bag of Dum Dum's, I was ready to be loud. To speak up -- and to cheer on the walkers who were braving the first stormy San Diego walk since the Susan G. Komen 3 Day began down here. It was raining and windy and in the 50's.<br />
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And these walkers -- after we'd dropped off her son and found the walkers on the route -- they walked with plastic around their sneakers and socks. They walked with colorful ponchos. They walked with baseball cops and music still playing out of their fanny packs. They walked with wet hair. And wet socks and wet sneakers. Wet pants and shirts.<br />
<br />
They were like the Who's down in Whoville who sang without their Christmas presents.<br />
<br />
Nothing stopped them. Their spirit. Their walk. For they were walking for something bigger than them. Bigger than the weather. Bigger than a route.<br />
<br />
They were walking for love. They were walking for the faces on their shirts and in their hearts. They were walking for the people not yet born. They were walking for the women alongside them. They were walking for themselves.<br />
<br />
For all of us.<br />
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And they walked and walked.<br />
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So, I thought of a slogan -- I mean, all we had was bag of dumb dumbs -- we' weren't dressed in pink and we didn't have music, we didn't have signs -- the rain would've obliterated them -- all we were was two girls in jeans and sneaks and sweatshirts with hoods and a bag of dum dums.<br />
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So... I thought of this --<br />
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"Dum Dums for Dumb Weather!"<br />
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And so, Amy and I began to say it in unison as the walkers walked by. We surprised them and ourselves with our perfectly syncopated chant.<br />
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They smiled and laughed and some of them even took Dum Dums as we passed them out. They gave us high fives and continued along their way -- with an extra spring in their step.<br />
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It felt better than most anything in life. Honestly.<br />
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It felt almost as good as walking. And that is one of my favorite things in life -- doing this walk with Amy once a year.<br />
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We slept like little babes in swaddling clothes that night... Knowing that our Dum Dums and our cheering had brought smiles and laughs.<br />
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And then, the next morning when we awakened -- I think we were the only two souls in the whole city who were bummed to see the sun -- <i>What would we do with our winning slogan?</i><br />
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We sort of prayed for <i> </i>rain.<br />
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Zoiks!<br />
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And then, when we finally found a place to position ourselves for the second cheering part of Day 3 of the walk, and our Day 3 -- Sunday, we placed ourselves at the bottom of the great big hill in the last stretch of the walk.<br />
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And we adjusted.<br />
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We decided to say, <i>Dum Dums for the Dumb Hill!</i><br />
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And boy, we couldn't keep them in our hands -- they were flying out of them like hotcakes!<br />
<i> </i><br />
3 different groups of women asked us for photo ops -- and of course, we obliged :)<br />
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They called us <i>The Dum Dum Girls!</i><br />
<br />
They remembered us, and high fived us, they repeated our chant! We were all like one big happy wet and cold and cheering walking family!!!<br />
<i> </i><br />
They'd laugh as they walked away, when they finally heard -- above the noise of the walking -- what we'd said.<br />
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They thanked us for coming out. They. thanked. us.<br />
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And I remembered how great it felt to be doing something for someone else.<br />
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To support people believe in them -- make them laugh.<br />
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One man reminded us both of why we were there. He must've been in his 60's or early 70's even. Really healthy looking and had a great pace, seemed untouched, undaunted as he began his trek up the hill.<br />
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And Amy said to him, "<i>Wow, you seem so relaxed. You make the hill look easy."</i><br />
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To which he replied, <i>"It's easier than chemo."</i><br />
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No Dum Dum cheer for a minute or two. Took our breath away.<br />
<i> </i><br />
And so, my Little Beasts/Blades... I write you tonight out of gratitude. I write to you as someone who had been humbled by the women and men who walked by us and who thanked us for cheering them on.<br />
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I write as someone who wants to feed people downtown on Thanksgiving morning.<br />
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Someone who is grateful to be able to walk. To have friends like you. A dog like Gatsby. My health. Dreams that take my own breath away.<br />
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Someone who has a mom up there, in the sky, who was smiling down upon me last weekend. Knowing... that I was cheering for her.<br />
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Love... Always. <br />
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</div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-92028877613629222772010-11-19T23:55:00.000-08:002010-11-19T23:55:05.760-08:00Our gift.<div style="text-align: center;">"Your garbage is your gift. If you learn to harness it."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirySNVO5ryuSCq9oiZ23inxS7Pfn5A2C_2zgOvGXbnSsUwK9tsIxc12jMSB0pnb4XMBBRdBVhwbUEPxM1jx67dIcIsxMKANG6klptEds6s0S-aOpkQ1mMs1veITI51mrj3mR9hxi2AcOPY/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirySNVO5ryuSCq9oiZ23inxS7Pfn5A2C_2zgOvGXbnSsUwK9tsIxc12jMSB0pnb4XMBBRdBVhwbUEPxM1jx67dIcIsxMKANG6klptEds6s0S-aOpkQ1mMs1veITI51mrj3mR9hxi2AcOPY/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And the next quote is also mine... :) </div><div style="text-align: center;">The beauty of growing up is learning to trust your gut, following your own star and having utter faith in your golden path.</div><br />
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my little blades, i have promised to blog tonight, but alas, i see that since my roommate is sleeping and gatsby needs a peepee and i am off to bed soon, i will have to keep this short :(<br />
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i will indeed write more tomorrow, but please know my little beasts that i have a big surprise coming up -- including a christmas party on sunday, december 12th and i have an event with an amaaaazing theatre company that i am co-hosting and i also am looking for a writer to co-write my movie with me.<br />
<br />
and so, there are many glittering things cooking!<br />
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i love you all and i promise to write more tomorrow... but please know this much -- that your gift is your garbage, it is the same thing -- depending on how your harness it.<br />
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for example, my passion for life & ability to connect with people is my gift. but when i do no harness it, it can distract me and keep me unfocused and my ego will get in the way -- keeping me from success.<br />
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when i harness it, i am focused and full of bright energy that brings friends and boyfriends and love and money and health to me.<br />
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think of this, my little beasts. what is your gift? and what is your garbage? and think of how one brings you success and one brings you fear/doubt/chaos.<br />
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how can you harness it? to make it all positive and all a gift?<br />
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5 things today:<br />
meeting with the great johnny clark of Vs. Theatre Company to discuss working together<br />
repeating exercise with keith<br />
repeating exercise with johnny<br />
reaching out to writers about my movie<br />
WME audition<br />
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And I have a great opportunity next week on Wednesday, wish me luck... :)<br />
And also -- I have something coming up in NYC...<br />
And I am disciplining myself more, paying off debt, working hard, paying rent early, taking care of my skin and hair and time to buy some new clothes for auditions and meetings!!!<br />
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Please do write me little beasts, and tell me what your gift/garbage is. And how you're harnessing it.<br />
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And to all of you, near and far, sleep with the angels...<br />
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Love.... Always.kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-69259116409869184442010-11-14T18:23:00.000-08:002010-11-14T18:23:55.798-08:00Your one and precious life.<div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"><span class="body">"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?</span>"</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;">- Mary Oliver.</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicaEE-LUCaahYvJ1IyFgpNtDjoJBWgb-IO2eY4xJhJkNN74N49GE2THeeZf6jlzj4izkmq_hnqiLscmy3e_TpWoYlATD5kqC-v6S16kPdnc6tOaN-WhYzcB8Rq_P6OKATqt2ksvsQzPoyZ/s1600/76838_10150320555770398_632135397_15544355_5830050_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicaEE-LUCaahYvJ1IyFgpNtDjoJBWgb-IO2eY4xJhJkNN74N49GE2THeeZf6jlzj4izkmq_hnqiLscmy3e_TpWoYlATD5kqC-v6S16kPdnc6tOaN-WhYzcB8Rq_P6OKATqt2ksvsQzPoyZ/s320/76838_10150320555770398_632135397_15544355_5830050_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"></span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Welp, my little blades... I am absolutely discovering this for myself!</span></span> It's funny because I stopped blogging because I felt like I'd dried up -- my inspiration had deserted me -- or perhaps I had deserted it. Either way, I stopped. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And then, I was at my acting workshop and my dear friend Dasha asked me what happened to my blog. She said, "You have only like two months to go, come on." And then, when I said that I'd been Les Mis and thought it was better if I walked away for awhile, she responded brilliantly. She said, "But that's when we most want to read your column. To be inspired."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And then, I thought to myself, I <i>need </i>to write again. I need to share where I have been and where I am going. I need to give -- of myself and back to you all, my little blades, who stuck with me, by my side, even when I aborted mission for a few months.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Sometimes in life, and I am a big proponent of this, it is enlivening to walk away from something. Gain a fresh perspective. See things more clearly. Meet someone new. Discover a new song. Change our minds. Or maybe -- maybe even we need to listen to old songs, meet up with an old friends, see things the way we used to see them and yet differently at the exact same time.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">The thing is, we are always growing. Even when we think -- ugh. This is <i>so </i>not where I am supposed to be. Maybe it is. Maybe we are all part of this divine make up of the universe and we are spinning, turning just right. Just right if -- and this is a great big if -- if we have what I have discovered to be the courage that it takes to be honest. With ourselves. About ourselves. If we embrace who we are.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And at The Women's Conference in Long Beach a few weeks ago, I learned -- or rather re-learned about that. I felt anew. As the hours stretched on and the more people I listened to, the more the voices all collectively became this harmonious pitch, like the sound of a hummingbird's wings as it clings nearby a bird of paradise. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I could hear them. The wings. My wings. And I could feel like this warm feeling falling over me and I remembered me. The me who attended Barnard. The me who went to Peddie. The me who dreampt of great big things as I swinged (swung?) on the swingset in my backyard. The me who hid on the side of my house, thinking of being an actress, shewing my gum and the peanuts I'd also incomprehensibly popped into my mouth.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I'd stare into the bathroom mirror, the one downstairs, and do a commercial, act it out, sell a product, but I'd always make one up that was kind of dramatic. And boy, did the tears flow easily.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I'd sing <i>Somewhere Over The Rainbow </i>on the swing in the backyard. And when my momtold me that the lion had died in "real life" -I cried then too. I cried for the lion. And for his courage. And for the actor -- because why did he have to die?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I remember these things.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I remembered me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">At the conference, as I listened to the women -- and the few great men who also spoke -- I remembered me. And what makes me great. Made me great. Will make me even greater.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">The truth. Who I am. The scrappy kid from Jersey. The big brown-eyed dreamer with the out-sized dreams. The girl who made her childhood best friend, Gretchen, whom I'd somehow nicknamed Pooch, (she called me Bear) rehearse with me for our "movie play" about two women who were secretaries who rose up and defeated their boss. Our soundtrack was <i>Private Eeyes. </i>And I'd make us both rehearse assiduously. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We also danced for the local retirement home -- in Danskin leotards a la <i>Solid Gold</i>. I'm sure our strange and energized performance either brought them closer to death or life, depending on their current physical state.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">That's me, my little blades. That's me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Or at least, this was the beginning of me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">And now... I have picked up the stick again and started to <i>Bridge to Terabithia</i> my way through life all over again.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Honesty about my money. Honesty about my school. My culture. My desire for love. My gratitude for all of the love swarming my life. My need to be close to my father. My missing of my sister and great need to see her again.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am buying a new car. Selling my old one. My dear friend is living with me. Jes! I have a roommate again -- it's been years and years. And I LOVE it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I am growing. We are growing. But the thing is, I am taking me -- along the journey.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">This is my one wild and precious life. And I am beginning to know -- just what I plan to do... :):):) </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://3.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/williamsha101008.html"><br />
</a></span></b> </div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-41033481359580349892010-11-08T22:56:00.000-08:002010-11-08T22:56:57.423-08:00To all of my friends...<div style="text-align: center;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BC_UILNwWrc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BC_UILNwWrc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I love you all. Thank you for always listening to me, and helping me out when I need you... These are times of greatness and times of great challenge. And every day, I have facebook messages and texts and emails and phone calls... And every single word of love makes the quality of my life exceptional. In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. Love, love, love each and every one of you. Always!!! All of my little blades near and far, you all make me shine.</b></span></span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-80729486026023445372010-11-07T22:50:00.000-08:002010-11-07T22:50:35.725-08:00Life is like a prism.<div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>"If you are waiting for a miracle, change your perception."</b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>- Oprah Winfrey.</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9_gjsll7xnYCbOBcgTbHtvGzapRFITCN19co62Gn8y6ZI71tO9_rj8k2Us3JVu217MuD_wgFrktiWDvc-BhX4zDsG2KKEHmq1cONqPzSIc8DUypBrSdcKATpxowa4isRQ2Y7G8aINThqi/s1600/images-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9_gjsll7xnYCbOBcgTbHtvGzapRFITCN19co62Gn8y6ZI71tO9_rj8k2Us3JVu217MuD_wgFrktiWDvc-BhX4zDsG2KKEHmq1cONqPzSIc8DUypBrSdcKATpxowa4isRQ2Y7G8aINThqi/s1600/images-1.jpg" /></a></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, lately, my little blades, I have been going through all of these changes... Feeling ready to move, feeling excited about being with my new agents -- and yet, wanting more, craving more, neeeeeeding more. But -- it's amazing. Because I have been seeking and finding. I have been meditating every day -- welp, starting today. I have been meditating on and off, but this morning, I vouched for every day. And it feels great. And in my meditating, I have been feeling clearer. Things are becoming clearer. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Like when you squirt the windshield wiper fluid on your window and all of a sudden, you can see -- I mean, really see the city. Or what's in front of you. Hehe. But this is how I feel... I am also walking Gatsby 3 miles daily and this has also been clearing my head.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am in action. Remembering to -- probably the greatest clarity I have had lately is in how I spend my time. I have had to hunker down and not buy my chai every morning. I've been thinking about New York. And not in some sort of wishy washy way, but in the way that I am going to go in a month and take a great meeting that could lead to even greater things...</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am. Clearing up debt.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am. exercising.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am. Steaming my voice.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Taking care of my skin.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Taking care of what I eat.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I feel like a warrior.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I feel like I am in the final stretch of the year and I am going to work hard as opposed to half-assing it. I have my eyes on the prize and where my perception has been changing is in my discipline. How I spend my money. How I spend my time. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Exercise and eating well and meditating, emailing and talking to my agents, telling them my goals, getting them in on my goal -- so that we are all a team, doing it together. Meeting with them, hugging them, reaching out and creating like a force field so that we can accomplish this together.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am looking at my life at the moment as if I were walking for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk. I am telling everyone my goal. I am asking for help, emailing and calling, texting, anything to reach my goal -- what became <i>our </i>goal. And this is also what I did with Little Bird -- and what I shall do with Little Beast. What I've done with bringing friends to see Yellow. It's this collective thing -- where you tell people, include them, make them a part of something bigger than all of ourselves, we become something greater. </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And honestly, this is how I have been most fulfilled in my life thus far. When I believe in something greater than myself -- when I include my friends and family -- everyone I meet pretty much and they come along and we are all shining.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is where I am.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">And so, if any of you have ideas for me on how to be debt-free by Christmas, let me know. I am committed. And excited.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">I send you all LOVE and all of the light you guys give me by reading my blog, I give it all back to you. And more.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">p.s. Thank you to the Indian man who gave me $5 for a toy for Gatsby after he pet him, saying that Gatsby was the first dog he had pet in over ten years. He had been afraid before then. I bought him a new toy and he has already chewed half of it up. This is a good sign! So... thank you for paying it forward.</span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yay for all of our dreams! For the quietude in which they grow, for sharing them little by little so that our friends can dream for us too, and for knowing that as we lay down to sleep our dreams are already here. Inside of us. Happening. We just need to change our perception :) </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div><div style="color: red; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-36202406352478274972010-11-06T01:03:00.000-07:002010-11-06T01:03:59.102-07:00The Coffe Bean & Frugal Leaf.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="body">"Excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism.</span>"<br />
<span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/oprahwinfr127183.html">Oprah Winfrey</a></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSK-_qYhCJuWBNMLYNPLVXzCa1GYoN2C5uxIReZqFzSxt9kTIBYY9FtIEtgvp6tpZnXpHC_KRCKp0kGt4lTVY5rUGXGnXGlqYKCOqKtAYA0UkIudef-pFRWADcB4rkGUZk8ZzrWWgJQmJA/s1600/MJ+Art.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSK-_qYhCJuWBNMLYNPLVXzCa1GYoN2C5uxIReZqFzSxt9kTIBYY9FtIEtgvp6tpZnXpHC_KRCKp0kGt4lTVY5rUGXGnXGlqYKCOqKtAYA0UkIudef-pFRWADcB4rkGUZk8ZzrWWgJQmJA/s320/MJ+Art.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"> <span style="color: blue;">So tonight, my little blades, I am going to be brief! Because alas -- I am just getting in the swing of blogging again -- and it feels good :) But the truth is, I am dipping my feet back in and swirling the water around and feeling the coolness in between my toes... Taking my time...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And so, tonight is about one thing I am doing these days to reach my goal. In fact, it is about two things:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">1. I am thinking about saving money -- as paying off my debt is my goal for this Christmas. And so, I have been thinking about my beloved Coffee Bean chai latte. And what I realized today is that I have never even known the exact ingredients in this drink that I have been drinking religiously. So, today when Rose brought it over and I saw that sugar was the first ingredient and I think of the fact that I have sugar added and that I drink it almost every day -- and -- that it costs $4/day, I thought -- Kieren, you need to cut down on your drink and make it a treat to drink it. Maybe 2x a week. And then, I thought and maybe I will mix it up and have a Starbucks chai -- the enemy chai :( because theirs is all natural, it's Tazo. And I adore my Coffee Bean and my friends who work there, but in my efforts to be frugal and to save this holiday season and pay off all debt, I am watching my pennies.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">I am also going to make sandwiches the night before and put some veggies chips and an apple in a bag when I am on the road -- I'll buy the ingredients at Trader Joe's and farmer's markets. I am watching my dollars.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">I am also watching what I put into my body -- I am walking with Gatsby 3 miles a day at least 5 days a week. I am also meditating every other day -- and starting tomorrow morning, every day -- tomorrow which is today! I am reading again -- I abandoned it for like a year at least -- and me, an English major!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">I am returning to being quiet. To bargaining for better prices. To watching what I spend and how. To looking at receipts to get a better glimpse at how I prioritize my life.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And also -- I am steaming my voice in the shower, doing vocal warm-ups before auditions, sleeping with my humidifier on, and drinking tons of water. For my on-camera auditions, I am scrubbing my face, getting facials, conditioning my hair, using natural make-up and experimenting with putting on make-up -- doing it more beautifully, I am buying, treating myself to clothes here and there that I can wear at auditions, and for theatrical -- I am being honest. This is who I am. I am ready and talented and unique. I am someone special. I've got something rare to share, a huge gift and I am present and have nothing to lose.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And so, I am a warrior at the moment.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And I have had conversations with Debbie downers, people who say it can't be done -- we all have things "against us" in "this industry" in "this town" and what I have found to be true is what Oprah said -- excellence is the way to beat off sexism, ageism, racism, any ism that exists.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">If you are extraordinary, you will change the world.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And I get this.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And I am.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">One moment at a time.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And the truth is, we all can. We all hold the world in our hands like little balls of clay.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And if you think, honestly Kieren -- aren't you being just a little idealistic? I mean, come on -- times are tough, this nation is struggling, people are losing jobs, they're not hiring new actors, blah, blah...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And by "blah, blah," I do not in any way mean to trivialize the genuine and heartbreaking suffering of many people across this nation and further stretches of the world, rather what I mean is -- if you think you can't do it, think of Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, Oprah Winfrey, Susan Boyle, Martin Luther King, Jr, Gandhi, Barack Obama, Sandra Day O'Connor...</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And sooo many more.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">They ALL defied the odds.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">How?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">They worked hard, they disciplined themselves, they organized their time, they were passionate and expressive and they never ever gave up.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And so shall we all do these things, my little blades. Let us structure our days:</span></span><br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">1. write in your journal/computer.agenda the night before 5 career things you are doing the next day.</span></span><br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">2. exercise daily. Keeps you strong and focused. Healthy.</span></span><br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">3. Do one thing that scares you s day -- scares you about your career fears -- not sleeping in a dark alley :)</span></span><br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">4. Eat well. Take care of your body.</span></span><br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">5. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Part of this is mediation & visualizing your success -- get specific -- picture that audition and how confident and relaxed you are. Know your lines perfectly, be prepared in a meeting for every kind of question, and know what you are going to wear the night before.</span></span><br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And then -- when the moment comes, breathe and let it all. You have done the work and it all there, inside of you. All you need to be now is you.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">I am learning that I need to curb my socializing through Christmas, I need to save pennies, sharpen my work ethic, write and edit my movie, and pay off debt. And oh, yeah -- I'd love to fall in love :)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="bodybold"><span style="color: blue;">And speaking of love, I am sending each and every one of you -- Love... Always! </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="bodybold"> </span> </div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-30455811533150775562010-11-05T00:56:00.000-07:002010-11-05T00:56:08.694-07:00Taking Responsibility Sets You Free!<div style="text-align: center;">"None of you are victims. You are here because you created this."</div><div style="text-align: center;">- Suze Orman.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_UX1A404jl00ntnTLb9NSzkaZC_LgHXUSF4jPQESo_mrkYOYphBt_zSRrjhwBjwLBHXteGxsxYsoZSCiG4g6oHdZI0nyMcLY8mKyTsqxvCpBWihsCjhDDAwCah63KdFrGGnfBhm3hbtYM/s1600/35797_424433726536_617801536_4993036_5085103_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_UX1A404jl00ntnTLb9NSzkaZC_LgHXUSF4jPQESo_mrkYOYphBt_zSRrjhwBjwLBHXteGxsxYsoZSCiG4g6oHdZI0nyMcLY8mKyTsqxvCpBWihsCjhDDAwCah63KdFrGGnfBhm3hbtYM/s320/35797_424433726536_617801536_4993036_5085103_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Honestly my little blades, I am STOKED to be back!!! I have taken a reprieve and the time has come for me to return to you all. And thus, here I am. I am wizened and in an honest, warrior-like place. I am on a mission until the end of this year. And I shall take you all along with me...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But the truth is, I am sleeeeeeepy.... And thus, I leave you with this quote, which I heard from the lips of Suze Orman at The Women's Conference last week in Long Beach. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">When I walked in the door, she was saying these exact words and they were absolutely what I needed to hear!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am empowered and super motivated and honest about where I am. In a place of hard work and of lots of love. I am strong and resilient and ready for the world.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am putting one foot in front of the other, I do not feel entitled, I feel realistic -- meaning, as I see it -- this is my year! And I shall continue where I left off -- to create it as I dream it. And to being others along with me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And so, on that note, I send you all love, my little blades...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">May you all sleep with the angels tonight. And let this lovely little owl watch over you and guard you as you sleep.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">There is -- clearly! -- more to come.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Love... Always!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-10976311028124690812010-09-07T23:18:00.000-07:002010-09-07T23:18:24.269-07:00Magic.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="body"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Big dreams create the magic that stir men's souls to greatness."</span></span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span></b></span><span class="bodybold"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/billmccart381121.html" style="line-height: normal; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bill McCartney</span></span></b></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPf2Tn6tiDeF-zn8oltmt50GYkhL-NMhOVgsQxoRInTH0bwaqzQhd-M3P4SA6L1IUrOLqj7BrvMTcsOJFMkCYhMM87F9OfqL3eedSwvQhP1K0VLuHKqdVd4JtjXgpueVFOJ17_Whj68FR/s1600/100_0137.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPf2Tn6tiDeF-zn8oltmt50GYkhL-NMhOVgsQxoRInTH0bwaqzQhd-M3P4SA6L1IUrOLqj7BrvMTcsOJFMkCYhMM87F9OfqL3eedSwvQhP1K0VLuHKqdVd4JtjXgpueVFOJ17_Whj68FR/s320/100_0137.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Hello my beloved blades. I am writing after having taken a reprieve for a few days... Ahhh... Feeling like a refreshed human being.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>A pool party on sunday, a little zz top at the del mar fairgrounds on saturday night, and small dinner with a friend friday night & preparation for a meeting with a producing partner saturday morning...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>a doughnut, a veggie burger, a hot car ride down to del mar and a blech grilled cheese at the concert -- lots of men with long braids and even more beer in their hands...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i have been meditating daily my little blades. being more quiet. focusing. again. and i am happily listening to myself more than i have. in a while.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i sooo recommend silence when in doubt or question or for a sense of awe or wonder or for the need to reconnect with this wilding world and the sparkling inhabitants of it.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>ahhhh...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>it has indeed been awhile since i have meditated and it feels like a little piece of heaven. like a place to come home to.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i have been feeling sooo much magic around me, surrounding me, the love and generosity of friends, a text asking how i am, an email telling me i am appreciated, a glowing referral to a talent manager, a movie star who wants to see my work, a TV star who welcomes me onto his golden set, a literary editor who wants to read my excerpt... a friend of a friend who calls because she wants to, <i>needs</i> to compel me forward.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>these things are magical. they are like a sneeze waiting to happen, like i'm about to fall in love -- or maybe -- maybe, this <i>is </i>falling in love. maybe this is what falling in love with life again feels like. <i>magic. everywhere.</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i met with my teacher shalom today and he told me i <i>need to perform for my soul to be alive.</i> </b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>he told me this without my even having told him that i am contemplating new york city. he told me this because he knows me and loves me, appreciates me. he <i>gets </i>me.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>sees where i am going, loves me for who i truly am. my soul.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>it's like oprah whenever i have a meeting with him, this feeling that i could cry at any moment. and not because i am particularly sad. but because i am so ALIVE. and my heart and my body and my molecules even are - i can feel them. i am moved. and alive. ahhh... f'in perfect. divine.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i've been watching a lot of <i>streetcar </i>lately -- pretty much daily. it's like i can't get enough and that's because brando is so alive. living in the moment, raw and full of love and hatred and honesty. certainty.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>it's like the best acting/living class in the whole wide world, watching this movie.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i am devouring it. eating it whole.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i am becoming this movie.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>in the sense that i can see myself grow and move and beam along as i watch it. and breathe with it -- with their passion -- when american acting was just breaking forth on screen, when dean and brando -- the greats were so <i>honest</i> and raw. sooo beautiful. and part of their beauty was their charisma. how they truly <i>lived </i>on the screen.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>stunning.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>the.best.class.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>and with the meditating and the swimming and the hiking /walking, i am trusting myself more, like a child's trust. i am loving myself, like i did when i first started acting after barnard. and i am speaking what i feel inside.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>yearning, craaaaaving to work, to perform. and from this place, from my soul speaking to me and demanding that i break out.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i shall.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>do it, blades, break out, demand more, live, breathe, meditate all with gratitude -- we are young and alive and here to <i>do something.</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br />
</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>let.us.be.extraordinary.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>let.extraodinary.be</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>us.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>love... always.</b></span></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-45017130337244308802010-09-04T01:06:00.000-07:002010-09-04T01:06:37.854-07:00quietude.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="body"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"I deepen my experience of God through prayer, meditation, and forgiveness."</span></span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span></b></span><span class="bodybold"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">- </span></span></b></span><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mariannewi384383.html" style="line-height: normal; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Marianne Williamson</span></span></b></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYigusYpSDIsDNygV2W4Io8NtRG-IAfpC3JLh60W3DHsp6fth10iUNeMhBnm7ds461JqoSWHxqn-YFdSuK5oB2yaVJQmQwvHMp1UXFaYvm4CcQgbdzhBikp5sTCH66XqbqsU3HpnidhEFI/s1600/DownloadedFile-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYigusYpSDIsDNygV2W4Io8NtRG-IAfpC3JLh60W3DHsp6fth10iUNeMhBnm7ds461JqoSWHxqn-YFdSuK5oB2yaVJQmQwvHMp1UXFaYvm4CcQgbdzhBikp5sTCH66XqbqsU3HpnidhEFI/s320/DownloadedFile-1.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>my little blades, i hope this finds you all well. i have taken a few days off as i have been thinking. thinking about moving. thinking about what fills my soul. thinking about the changes erupting inside of me. </b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i have been feeling many things. and the strongest feeling is that of needing to feed my soul. of change. of needing more, to be more, do more, transform.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>of "sucking the marrow" out of life.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>ch ch ch changes.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>and where do i go to make these changes? what are the signs? what shall i do next?</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i do not yet know. though i am thinking of something big.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i am thinking that there awaits me transformation.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i am thinking and then, i am not thinking. i am meditating, praying, walking.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i am talking to friends like my friend chris who also feels the need to feed his soul.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>we walked together tonight discussing such things.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i am on the verge.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>mujeres al borde de un attaque de nervios.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>just kidding, my little blades. hehe.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>but honestly, i am on the tip of something and it requires courage. and change. and leaving my comfort zone. and work, hard work -- disciplined work.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>and i must begin.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>tomorrow i shall map a plan and monday is a day of action. phone and email and flight. action.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i am excited. and nervous a little. and knowing in my gut that the time has come. </b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>big changes, my little blades.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>the time has come. and this little beast is spreading her wings and the time is coming when i shall fly...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i shall keep you updated. </b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>sometimes -- in fact often times, we must leave our comfort zones in order to grow, and glow and make our indentation on this beloved world.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>i want streetcar.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>greatness.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>barbaric yawp.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>and where shall i find it?</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>we shall see...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>mooooovvvveee!</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I send you all Love... Always.</b></span></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-87705891638010512262010-08-31T00:38:00.000-07:002010-08-31T00:38:40.248-07:00Brando... Wow.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/S1A0p0F_iH8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/S1A0p0F_iH8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b>my little blades, i am watching this movie tomorrow, to remember, to watch, to breathe in why i became an actress in the first place. the blood, the passion, the craving, the hunger of the craft. of being more alive in one moment than most people experience in a lifetime.</b></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>of wanting something, <i>being </i>someone, filling out another person's soul with yours, transcending space and time, your body shaking because you have left it almost -- like you have <i>become </i>another, and as i've been missing NYC... i send a shout out to my followers on the east coast, to the friends who are reading and sitting in brooklyn, manhattan, even nj...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>to those of you who are studying, reading, watching theatre, learning your lines, joining a great class, who are pouring over the books of the greats, who are inspired to stay up late and wake early because you have fallen utterly and eternally in love with this craft, your destiny has been laid out before you and now you are devouring the day just to get there, to make space disappear, to end time limits and to soak into the bright lights on the stage, to experience your first close up on camera, to feel a connection with your co-star that goes beyond words, to fill into your costume and be born anew...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>tonight i had a yummy lebanese dinner with my friend kamran and his updates were so glorious and his appreciation of me so heartbreaking that i am remembering things, my little blades, remembering the student in me, the hungry, driven girl whose food was her class, whose classmates her companions on the most thrilling ride of life -- becoming what you were always meant to be.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>so... tonight, my little blades, i celebrate marlon brando. whose passion was seamless, whose beauty and natural talent were unmistakable and whose New York training, whose truth as an actor elevated the craft.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>he once said, and i've actually quotes this before on my blog, so forgive me:</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; white-space: normal;"><span class="body" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">An actor is at most a poet and at least an entertainer.</span><br />
<span class="bodybold" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/marlonbran382333.html" style="color: #0011ff; line-height: normal; text-decoration: none;">Marlon Brando</a> </span></span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>here's to the poet in all of us -- in the stay at home mom, in the fashion designer, in the writer, in the voice over editor, in the philosopher, in the kabbalist, the christian, the jew, the hindi, the atheist, in the straight and the gay, in the friend and the stranger, in our dog and our cat, in our moms and our fathers, in our old friends and our new, let us be the poets we were always meant to be.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>and live.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>out loud.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>sounding our barbaric yawps.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>moonwalking across the stage of our lives.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>becoming what we dreamt of being when we were so young.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>let us pull on our boots and march through the trenches of our souls to arrive at the heaven of our dreams.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><b>i send you all Love... Always...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b> </b></span></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-77192870609394900102010-08-29T22:19:00.000-07:002010-08-29T22:30:51.600-07:00Happy Birthday, MJ!!!<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i>She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene,<br />
I said, 'Don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one,<br />
Who will dance on the floor in the round?'</i></span></span></b></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0ipk3kL_soU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0ipk3kL_soU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">My blog tonight, my little blades, is dedicated to the human being who has inspired me more than all others... I have always adored Michael Jackson, ever since I was little. And he still continues to inspire me today. He is the reason I put post-its around my house reminding me of my dream, of my worth, he reminds me to work hard, really hard, to be proud, to strive and to always always always share my gift with the world.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">He had a killer work ethic, a massively natural gift, and a love of humanity & the earth, which I share. And I continue to work on my work ethic -- to balance it with my life, to balance my life too. Michael taught me this too. By the things he longed to do and maybe did, but maybe didn't do... But it is because of his natural gift combined with his work ethic that he shined as brightly as he did for sooo long. He is a one of a kind and I will always treasure his heartbreakingly natural gift along with his beautiful humanity.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am honored to have written and directed a play about you starring Edi Gathegi and Jade Lane called, <i>Billie Jean at the Graveyard.</i> Because every day, I watched your videos and listened to your music and often I'd even cry at your gift. At your soul, which slid across the floor just as your shiny shoes did, for all the world to see. To sneak a peak at this magician, at this glittering being who woke up the darkest of nights and got the last man sitting to get up and dance. No one was untouched by you, Michael. I remember writing to you in my journal when I was in 6th grade, and I wrote, </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Everyone loved you last year. But I still love you. I always will. No one understands you, but I do.</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><br />
</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">This was and still is inside of my white journals with the little teddy bears emblazoned all over it. Now, I kept my word, my little blades, I </span>do <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">still love Michael. Admittedly, there was a time when I did not -- or at least I didn't think I did, or at least I judged him like the others did, imagined I knew what was going on -- made fun of his appearance and jumped to conclusions as well. But what I have learned about time, is we return to our original, our true loves, we come back, just as we come back home, either literally or spiritually, we return to the people and things we have ever truly loved. And I came back to Michael because the truth is, I loved him first. He was my first pop star crush. I have a photo of my very dignified Dutch grandmother sitting on my bed in the 80's looking so peaceful and sweet and behind her, blaring just above her head is Michael in his yellow vest and white pants for </span>Human Nature. </i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Perfection. Perfect mingling of my two worlds. The Dutch and the pop. The sophisticated and the young. The hip and the intelligent. The dreamer and the reality. The family and the fame. </span></i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I send you a birthday wish tonight. That you may be smiling and moon walking for all of the angles in heaven, that they may all be on their tippie toes alongside you as you slide across the clouds and make God smile. Inspire the applause of the heavens. Light up the universe. Inspire stars to fall down to earth just to know what it was like to walk where you walked. Because I know down here on earth, we are still singing and dancing in your footsteps. We are still loving you. And I for one often times still feel like that 6th grader who had a crush on a young man with a great big dream and an even greater gift. Who loved more than most can see. Who had the whole world in his hands. If not in the tips of his toes...</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">May I walk in your beautiful footsteps and dance to my own rhythm, sing my own song as you so bravely sang yours. May I "sound my barbaric yawp" as you sounded yours. And may I light up the world as you so devastatingly lit up the souls of millions across the universe.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And may all of my little blades also break into song and dance and sound your sounds so that the world may be a more beautiful, more humane, more loving place because you all existed...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Love... Always...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-50394038107327866042010-08-28T14:48:00.000-07:002010-08-28T14:48:44.762-07:00Hitchcocks excites...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; white-space: pre;"><object height="288" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x88b8o?additionalInfos=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x88b8o?additionalInfos=0" width="480" height="288" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br />
<b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x88b8o_rear-window-1954-grace-kelly-jimmy_shortfilms">Rear Window (1954) Grace Kelly & Jimmy Stewart</a></b><br />
<i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/jack_helltoy">jack_helltoy</a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/us/channel/shortfilms">Check out other Film & TV videos.</a></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; white-space: pre;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; white-space: pre;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; white-space: pre;"><b><br />
</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">My little blades, I am posting this as my friend </span></b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>Caroline and I watched a Hitchcock watched a Hitchcock </b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>named <i>Shadow of a Doubt </i>last night and I found myself</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>so inspired by the simplicity and beauty of his writing</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>and how clean his directing is.</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b><br />
</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>What a master he was.</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>And I am thrilled to be making my own movie soon! And </b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>to work with the greatest directors of our time. And</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>to carry along this tradition of extraordinary film-</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>making.</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b><br />
</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>Whom do you want to work with? What filmmakers or human</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>beings inspire you?</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b><br />
</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>Just some glittering thoughts for a crisp & sunny </b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>Saturday...</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; white-space: pre;"><b>Love to you all... Always!</b></span></span>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-53747698806308249432010-08-27T00:26:00.000-07:002010-08-27T00:26:46.833-07:00Barnard Grad Dreams Big.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="huge" style="font-size: 15pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."</span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></b></span><span class="bodybold"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">- Margaret Mead </span></span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjqoLx587B7Pszj0Zk86sBycIBBszXP6y2Q3-Eno5JgJYcBzgt_bchmIkf1QM3vdZUT8jinvODkSeMJiWyEYI5PNhV53Hrqt9EcQdOfdo0fnMwlx-g2RAiA-Va_cLjS_OPlAI_B3ccVnBb/s1600/P1030516.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjqoLx587B7Pszj0Zk86sBycIBBszXP6y2Q3-Eno5JgJYcBzgt_bchmIkf1QM3vdZUT8jinvODkSeMJiWyEYI5PNhV53Hrqt9EcQdOfdo0fnMwlx-g2RAiA-Va_cLjS_OPlAI_B3ccVnBb/s320/P1030516.gif" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">welp, my little blades... i attended a columbia university alumni event tonight downtown and some of the conversations stirred me.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">it was refreshing to be around this diverse group of people with intelligent stories and ideas... Under the stars, sipping on wine and munching on pizza...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">today was a day of a lot of magic for me, my little blades. i was feeling :( and my friend amy called and was soooo loving and thoughtful and told me that she is here for me when i am down or when i am tired or fighting and when i put down the sword, she is here to lift me up. she moved me to tears. because it was so unexpected.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">i thought she was going to mention her company and excitement about my possibly being a part of it, but she was thinking of me and my dreams and how long she's believed in them, in me, and how she's spoken to her best friend and her husband about it, and how she believes in me and is here for me. and not to give up. ever. how cloooooossssseeee i am. and she said she could've cried talking to me. and then i started to and she did a little too.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and before that my friend johnny called and told me he'd love for me to take a special workshop with an amazing acting group he's assembling and he'd be honored for me to belong. and he called me one of the best actors he's ever known.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and then, in the afternoon, i got a package. from wme. and i could not even imagine what it was. and as i tore it open, i realized it was episode 10 of true blood on DVD that my agent's assistant had delivered for me. and when he's called earlier to confirm my address, he'd said it was for his files and i hadn't a clue.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and a friend dropped by in the middle of the day to tell me something important -- that she'd been hurt by somethings and she needed to tell me.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and all of these things, they MADE my day. i grew today, my little blades.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">i needed a push, to be loved, i needed to put down my sword just as amy had picked hers up. it was as if i unknowingly passed it onto her and she loved me. and we cried. and it was beautiful.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and i'd been craaaaaving theatre and community again, i'd been missing little bird and johnny called.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and i'd been missing true blood and loving WME and they reminded me of why. what a simple gift that meant so much.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and i wanted today to work on: balance and boundaries and keeping my word. and today my friend dropped by to talk about those exact things.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and then, i topped it all off with a lovely columbia event -- the first i've been to.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">ahhhh, life.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">did i mention that gatsby pooped on my rug?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">well, you can't have everything.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">hehe.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and my 5 things?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">today, i took a break. tomorrow i resume -- tomorrow? fifteen things!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">1. email agent referral</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">2. email another agent referral.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">3. call agent referral.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">4. email nyc lit agent and see about meeting up when i am in nyc.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">5. call alec's asst about my nyc trip to confirm the days to go to set.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">6. find barnard alumna in children's publishing for SNIFF.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">7. DM ami directeur.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">8. research & email producer from yesterday.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">9. email manager assistant my pic/res and link to SNL Test.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">10. Get to Morgan or a CSA demain -- follow up on mailing to CSA Columbia. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">11. WME audition.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">12. call 3 clients for copy of my VO spots for my reel.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">13. edit my movie -- get out script and edit 5 pgs.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">14. prep short film talk for sunday.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">15. wild card!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">good day!!!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">what are your plans, my little blades?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Love to all my little blades, near and far, always!!!</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-59063185823031443472010-08-26T00:31:00.000-07:002010-08-26T00:31:08.981-07:00a whole new world...<div style="text-align: center;"></div><pre><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; white-space: pre-wrap;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IDPEMtYUhjc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IDPEMtYUhjc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span></i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>"I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far,</i></span></span></b></span></div></pre><pre><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i> I can't go back to where I used to be..."</i></span></span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>- Jasmine </i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">My little blades... this is how i am feeling... it's </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">new and it's juuuust starting, it's preceding the </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">reality -- but it's there... i am feeling like jasmine,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">i am getting on the carpet, things are changing...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">and oh, the view.... :)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">How are your views, my little blades?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">I am sending Love to you all... Always!</span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: left;">
</div><div style="text-align: center;">
</div></pre>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-17672608057995199992010-08-25T00:48:00.000-07:002010-08-25T00:48:40.208-07:00Tonight's Prayer.<div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Dear God, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am."</span></span></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b>- anonymous prayer.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji2-JjMgb35rhnn4kldOwFcE21S-dzCVbndw_W9OFVGMQ8CHooPI15b8qlabTgPOcuy4OUu5U9NBLbDRpPpuOcdcbZ7Qf1z_8xXvgm9-vnr_xVosFNKgEHhyphenhyphenHh9t4UGnFQht1Qk6qHxMXI/s1600/Gatsby+4-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji2-JjMgb35rhnn4kldOwFcE21S-dzCVbndw_W9OFVGMQ8CHooPI15b8qlabTgPOcuy4OUu5U9NBLbDRpPpuOcdcbZ7Qf1z_8xXvgm9-vnr_xVosFNKgEHhyphenhyphenHh9t4UGnFQht1Qk6qHxMXI/s320/Gatsby+4-1.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b>today was amaaaazing, my little blades. i swam and walked Gats for 3 miles and auditioned and made a lovely dinner with a friend, and worked at the computer and wrote my sister the letter and made important phone calls... Today was balanced and happy!</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b>I also played with Gats in the courtyard like 3 times -- catch and tag and tug of war. Wonderful times.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b>Today, my little blades, today I was the person Gatsby thinks I am.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b>Ahhhh, life.... :)</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-large;"><b>Love to each and every one of you, near and far, Always!</b></span></span></div></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-30892029267649834052010-08-23T23:49:00.000-07:002010-08-23T23:49:42.840-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="body"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential."</span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></b></span><span class="bodybold"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">- </span></b></span><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/brucelee132745.html" style="line-height: normal; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Bruce Lee</span></b></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLoHlAoSw7WZpTOaeJQqMqr5ZDqMgsvkRFtyO8NeY9RSu0Wmthy84wBeh2Lypp_p0Jrarb6B7DYx6d8QMLfyF3CgywuKG2rURacVkKx5CwvGbPLDVPsKPFCwWGy2rKKSaYYxowlucfugZW/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLoHlAoSw7WZpTOaeJQqMqr5ZDqMgsvkRFtyO8NeY9RSu0Wmthy84wBeh2Lypp_p0Jrarb6B7DYx6d8QMLfyF3CgywuKG2rURacVkKx5CwvGbPLDVPsKPFCwWGy2rKKSaYYxowlucfugZW/s320/images-1.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Today my little blades was a day of great expansion. I made a whole list of whom to contact. And I contacted all of them. Except for my sister. And -- tomorrow, I shall contact her -- write her a letter to show her how much I love her.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>But today, today was a day of movement. I crossed off items on my list with vigor. I called people and emailed and got things done.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Today was communication. And tomorrow is communication and the loving of my house, my home, the cleansing of my home in preparation for new things.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>I shall call US Airways. Write my sister and mail the lettre. Follow up on agent referrals. Go to Kinko's to photocopy. And mail thank you letter to manager with story photocopied. I shall play with Gatsby. And I shall print up my movie. Go over it. Edit it. Start to figure it out. Spend one hour. Time myself. Release the fear, embrace the stretching of me -- I did it with plays and kid's books and my memoir and thus, I can do it with my movie. My own movie!!! This has been a dream of mine for years -- my "star vehicle," as Natalie called it.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Thrilled.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Proud of me today, my little blades. I did what I set out to do. </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>And I met with a lovely producer tonight.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Ahhhh.... I am now heading to sleepytime tea...</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>What have you accomplished today? What are your goals for tomorrow? Make a list of 3 big things and not just "call manager." I mean also like -- Communicate, reach out, express your dreams.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Breathe before being reactive.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Mine for tomorrow is follow up on today's list with communicating. And cleansing my house. And -- focus. When I audition and before, focus. I LOVE meditating and visualizing. I shall do this again tomorrow.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>I hope this finds you all smiling...</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>And grab your dreams tomorrow and run them towards the sun... They shall light up the darkest skies. And you shall all become stars.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>I send you all Love... Always! </b></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-84799665961739703272010-08-23T00:00:00.000-07:002010-08-23T00:00:21.012-07:00the beautiful animal odd couple.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cBtFTF2ii7U?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cBtFTF2ii7U?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></span><br />
<br />
<br />
a beautiful bedtime story for all of my little blades, near and far...<br />
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love... always!kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-60369408646939844042010-08-22T12:02:00.000-07:002010-08-22T12:02:16.279-07:00'Web.Files' Stakes Out 'Tyranny' and its Bond Girl<a href="http://news.tubefilter.tv/2010/08/18/web-files-stakes-out-tyranny-and-its-bond-girl/">'Web.Files' Stakes Out 'Tyranny' and its Bond Girl</a>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3261377596282185096.post-50799473097105816252010-08-22T02:18:00.000-07:002010-08-22T02:18:15.177-07:00Einstein's miracle.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"There are two ways to live your life. One as if nothing is a miracle. The other as if everything is a miracle." </span></span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">-Albert Einstein</span></span></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9IuWwzfJSA0tTH5QhkbGjNJ80McKVsa1qubjtLxo-d6najavWAcxmbRWazTlro1oMAhDUYLA3BV0UrZPL-DQi-QiW6vd_U3EKNDb8K-cdoXMFLtunQSDWxDVjC9Yn3nbLXHwKbL01PGjQ/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9IuWwzfJSA0tTH5QhkbGjNJ80McKVsa1qubjtLxo-d6najavWAcxmbRWazTlro1oMAhDUYLA3BV0UrZPL-DQi-QiW6vd_U3EKNDb8K-cdoXMFLtunQSDWxDVjC9Yn3nbLXHwKbL01PGjQ/s320/images-1.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>My little birds, short one tonight... as i am a sleeep blogger -- perhaps tomorrow i shall write earlier :)</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>but alas, i have sooo been feeling lately that miraclea are abounding:</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>i'll be reading a tweet from my friend lucy and thinking i need to text her as her text pops up.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>i'll walk into coffee bean with no money in my purse -- change of purse -- and a friend who never goes there happens to be there and he buys me a tea.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>i am referred to an agent and i leave him a voicemail less than an hour before i go to a party where i learn that the friend with whom i begin to engage in the juiciest of conversations with is repped by him.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>i wanted to wear dangly bracelets today and i couldn't find mine, so i go to my friend's house as planned and she has three beautiful dangly bracelets waiting for me since my birthday in march.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>i just got copy from one of my agents for disney playhouse which i almost booked two years ago -- and i was saying how stoked i was for a promo gig and then it lands in my email for monday morning.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>i was missing my girls nights out here as two of my closest girlfriends are gone for the summer and then my friend caroline calls me and tomorrow, we are heading for the beach.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>and i know, i just know -- that if this kind of magic, if these miracles, little miracles, are abounding in my life throughout the day, then they are of course happening in my career and in my love life too...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>and all i have to do, is be aware, open up to it all, breathe and embrace...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>all is happening... miracles are abounding...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>and i MUST find work that fulfills my soul. this is my quest for the rest of the year. and i begin tomorrow. which is today. hehe.</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>and, my little blades, think of all of the miracles abounding in your lives, because the more you embrace them, and appreciate them, the more they come, and the more joyous and plentiful our lives all are...</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 19px;"><b>and on this note, i send you all Love... Always...</b></span></span></div>kierenvdbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11422957319174649515noreply@blogger.com0