Hello my cyber-blades of grass... I write to you much later in the day than usual. Typically I write my blog 'round midnight. But last night I was sleeeeeepy from so much making life happen that I literally fell asleep in bed with my laptop in my lap, my neck crincked into a position only Picasso could love. And this morning, my neck feels like that of an 80 year old! Zoiks!
But, alas... Keeping with my commitment to write daily and thus to make oneself accountable to one's dreams, this girl is "on the road" again so to speak. The cyber-road, that is...
F. Scott is my absolute favourite writer. I might add that he was an undergrad at Princeton when This Side of Paradise was published. He was a 24 year-old hero. He died 20 years later in relative obscurity and pretty much penniless. A tragedy.
1. Timing. Now, I do not write these things to bum you guys out on a rather bummy, rainy Los Angeles day... And snowy pretty much elsewhere or so I read :) But rather to show us all that as my sister once said, "You can not judge a career until it is over." Fitzgerald posthumously achieved the great fame of having the "classic American novel" that most Americans could only dream of. Yet -- he started off SO promisingly, then plunged into a wicked despair and years after his death, he became an absolute superstar!
The point is -- timing is as we see it. It is the deep and certain knowing that we are on the golden path that keeps us from dissolving when times get rough. And they invariably do.
I can relate to F. Scott in one certain way. I debuted on Broadway in The Diary of Anne Frank after having graduated early from Barnard College, Columbia University to begin my career as an actress! After having studied for one year -- I was up onstage with Natalie Portman, playing her big sister, Margot Frank! I played the daughter of Otto Frank, brought to life by huge Broadway star, George Hearn (Sweeney Todd)! And I got to be the housemate of Mrs. Van Daan, played by Tony Award Winning Actress/Diva Linda Lavin! I felt like Cinderella! I went on a few dates with Timothy Hutton, I was VIP-ed into swanky clubs with my new actor friends in tow, and I was prosperous -- Clean & Clear commercials, and lucrative Biore radio campaigns to boot!
And then, my had died. Suddenly after our show closed -- 8 and 1/2 months after our much-celebrated opening, I was sad. And I didn't for a few years. I wrote some books, which I got a deal for last year and the first one of which debuts this August! And I studied Shakespeare at Oxford University. I also wrote and submitted some stories for magazines. I wondered if I would ever feel strong enough to act again. Though I knew in my heart that this was my path and that I would return... It was like breaking up with the love of your life -- not because he isn't right, but because the timing is off. And deep in your heart, you just know, as you pray, that he/your dream will return. And be even better.
Now I have been out here for 6 years making this career happen and everything is happening! My own private -- or now not so private -- second act. And it is magic. The timing is perfection. I do SO believe that even when we find ourselves sooo frustrated and longing for something -- anything! -- to happen. There is indeed a reason. And when we look back, it's like, "Oh my gosh, thank God it didn't happen then." For example, I wanted THE DIRECTOR to come to my benefit night for my show. And we never got in touch. Looking back, I'm thrilled he didn't come. My friends who did come -- industry stars included -- they know my work. And are fans. He would've seen a tired and somewhat distracted actress "with potential" had he come. Not enough to blow him away.
I have come to believe my friends that there is a divinity of timing. Yesterday was a day of rest. A day of collecting myself, gathering myself for the days ahead. Of figuring out my next step. My pictures came in through www.argentum.com and I am STOKED. Some of course are humbling and some are absolutely beautiful! I think sometimes beautiful and sometimes alien! But such is life... :)
I highly recommend http://paulsmithphotography.com/ He ROCKS. Beautiful lighting and I have never been more relaxed, more of a star in a photo session in my whole life.
2. Certainty. This is key! Knowing that you are in the right path, knowing that you are a STAR. And the timing -- the divine thing that it is -- is out of your reach. But what is within it - is your absolute and utter certainty that you are bringing something into this world that has never been there before. And it is this certainty that creates lists of "things to do" daily and keep you plugging away. I learned this lesson from my teacher, Shalom Sharabi. (He is the smiling face in the upper right hand corner). He says, if you go through life with certainty, and eradicate doubt -- you will get there so much faster and more easily and fully. Seek the light and it will shine on you...
3. 5 things daily. In Jack Canfield's The Success Principles, www.thesuccessprinciples.com he states something very, very helpful and wise, which I highly recommend. A little about him -- he created the uber-successful Chicken Soup For The Soul series. And in his success book, he says that every day of his life, he does 5 concrete, tangible, specific things to move his career forward. So, every day I check in with myself -- 5 things. Email this Casting Director. Choose this photo and send it to agent. Ask to meet with this manager. Email script to this actor friend to seek his/her interest to co-star with me. Send video to production company to see if we can garner an online fan base for it to boost exposure. Five things I juuust thought of. And then, if one day, I forget -- I merely add those things onto the next day. 8 on Saturday if only 3 on Friday and so on...
It's like going to the gym. It keeps you disciplined. Keeps you working towards the dream, Keeps you in shape. Spiritually and artistically.
Well, my rainy day friends... I am off to San Diego! But I am excited for what is opening, blossoming inside and showing on the outside. I will put some of my new pics up next week!!! And continue to put yourself out there -- as Madonna said, People don't get what they want because they don't ask for it. ASK, my friends. I remember meeting with a manager in NYC who was like, "William Morris is not gonna take you on. You have no credits." Really? They were my FIRST AGENCY.
Balls out, my friends, balls out. Keep dry. Keep dreaming. And remember -- be a hero of your own life.
p.s. F. Scott also said, "There are no second acts in American lives." Well, F. Scott... I believe I just may be proving you wrong.