The matchbook.

"You have an energy spark -- it's like a constant striking of a match."

- Jeff LeBeau.

Tonight my dear friend Jeff and I watched some of my youtube videos -- or rather, he watched them as I sat on the couch, listening to them...

And this was unplanned. Alas, I'd come to his house to help him prepare for this amazing one man show, dramatic monologue he's preparing to star in next month in NYC at The Fringe Festival in the East Village...

And 5 time Oscar Award Nominated DP, Caleb Deschanel, is directing it and is it based on Gary Moore's experience teaching English in China during Tiananmen Square. Fascinating and funny and poignant and he's such a relaxed actor, so elastic -- he's like a beautifu rubber band, flinging himself both emotionally and physically all over the stage...

And yet, here he was -- watching my videos -- googling me and watching my work, without even asking me or focusing on his work.

And he appreciated me. Was like, What do we do with you? You can do comedy, but you are sooo much more than that.

You need to be working all the time.

And the thing is, I feel like this is only the first match. Or maybe the second. The first was NYC. And there is a whole book that is me. But I am beginning... Again.

And tonight, Jeff saw me. And it feels wonderful, exhilarating even, to be seen. Really seen. Appreciated. Someone who asks you the same things you ask yourself late at night or while driving at like 2pm on a Tuesday. Someone who sees in you what you have always seen. Celebrates you.

And so... tonight, I celebrate Jeff. I am SO enjoying helping him prepare for his play. I am enjoying fine-tuning bits, trying new stuff out, stretching Jeff, and going over lines together or working on the clothes he'll wear. It's like a class together.

It's like being in Freddy's class together in Carnegie Hall ten years ago when I just started... In School, a kid.

I was seen tonight, my little blades. And the way I see it -- is when we see ourselves, truly see ourselves, the whole world sees us back.

Feels good.

Mmmmm...

On this note, my lovely little blades, I wish to seeee you all. To really see you. Appreciate you. Who in your life sees you? The way you see you? Wish to see you when things are feeling like they are falling apart? Or even when things are feeling like they are miraculously falling together? Who sees you?

Maybe thank them today. 

They make the world a cozier, safer, warmer, more loving place.

Thank you E.

And on this note, this little beast must put away her matches and let herself fall happily asleep with her beautiful Great Gatsby by her grateful side...

I send you all Love... Always...

p.s. 5 things:

1. emailed commercial agent to thank her/check in.

2. emailed promos agent to thank her for meeting.

3. emailed director -- meeting on thursday!!!!

4. audition at WME

5. worked with Jeff.

:):):)