Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The challenge, The light and The 5 Things.

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice I've been turning over in my 
mind ever since.


(opening line of The Great Gatsby)

My cyber-blades, tonight I am feeling a bit blank... I have been rolling over the opening line of my memoir -- as I have given myself Monday as the day to send it to the publisher. And thus, I am organizing it in my mind... And thinking of the first and last lines of my favourite novels. And The Great Gatsby wins the orize -- certainly for the best last 2 lines in American Literature.

Sigh.

1. Challenge. I am working away in my head -- and tomorrow I must work away on the actual memoir. I shall bring it to a cafe and sit down and write... Tonight, I find myself frustrated -- my car is acting weird again. Honestly, I'd rather eat Pez for a straight year than drive another Volkswagen!!! I am still waiting for my Wolverine and the X-Men checks and they own me a lot of money at this point. I feel like I wanna go all Norma Rae on those cartoon people who refuse to pay us! Honestly... I just want to relax -- but as Robert Frost once I have miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep. And by that, I don't just mean tonight -- I mean figuratively, I have miles to go... 

2. Remember the light that is me. And thus, my fellow blades, I must remind myself of what I am always telling you -- to know that everything is as it is meant to be. To remind myself of my certainty. To be good to myself. To remember Somewhere Over The Rainbow. To ask for what I want. To always be a first rate version of myself. To be gloriously unique. To know in my deepest heart that I deserve to be a star. To speak of ideas and not people. To fully grasp that there is not there there. To embrace that the golden apple is never devoured, its seeds are endless. To invent the future. To know that we must ultimately form our own final character. To do 5 things for our career every day. To remember when I am my most frustrated that there is a world swirling on outside of myself and that embracing this world will only make mine grow larger and more colorful and verdant and prosperous. To be the hero that writes a beautiful tragedy glowing with the ripe promise of tomorrow. In my soul, knowing, knowing, knowing -- empathy is the most revolutionary human emotion. 

... And that even when I am my most flawed and human, I am my most real and vulnerable -- and this is when I have the greatest chance for revealing the light inside of me. When I grumble the loudest. When I "sound my barbaric yelp."

This is precisely when I grow. So, tonight... my blog is short as my thoughts are long and they need a pillow to settles the souls within each of them. And thus, I leave you with this:

3. 5 Things:
1. I emailed a link to me in my favourite play to an extraordinary playwright today. 
2. I am wondering whether or not to follow up with THE DIRECTOR to whom I emailed my work. As I haven't heard back from him yet. Hmmm... He is prepping for a movie. I may, I may not. We shall see :)
3. I placed an order for my theatrical headshot -- will have by Thursday. Excited to show you all!
4. Started letter to manager I am interested in. Found hook to connect us. I shall send it off with my new picture post-Thursday.
5. Cleaned up my pics and edited my res on IMDB.

Moving along... And tomorrow, memoir day!!!

 It eluded us then, but that’s no matter — tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther... And one fine morning —

(2nd to last line of The Great Gatsby) 

Love to all of you, near and far...
KvdB.





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