"Once in one's life, for one mortal moment, one must make a grab for immortality; if not, one has not lived."
- Sylvester Stallone
"A film is never really good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet."
- Orson Welles.
I am thinking about Orson as my movie nears -- because it is the eye in the head of the poet that we need in film again. I have been renting a lot of old movies these days and watching Meryl and Dustin and Kevin Kline and Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty and James Dean and Dennis Hopper -- all of the classic actors who lit up the screen with their naked emotion, their realness...
And I especially LOVE American Cinema in the 1970's. I love how that period felt so fresh and stylish and the music was like water pouring over the scenes -- giving them life.
The stories were juicy and the actors were stretched and they had to work at their craft and there was MAGIC.
And of course, I know that there still is... I have seen movies lately where I have felt magic in the performances -- where I get that feeling as I watch it like, this is a classic already.
But, the truth is -- we NEED as artists to write our own material and put our movies together to get that lovin' feeling back, as the song goes...
We need to have the courage that Sylvester Stallone had when we arrived in LA at the age of 31 with a wife and baby and no money to his name and insisted that he sell Rocky only if he were the lead. He didn't settle. He insisted.
And what a difference that movie made. I think we all feel that theme in our heads when we're running up steps or doing the seemingly impossible. When we feel like David to some Goliath in our heads. Because the Goliath that gnaws at us is almost always in our heads -- not in the world around us.
And I for one -- I am SO inspired that Bekah is writing a movie for me. That someone is creating my star vehicle in Natalie's words. Because I remember first moving out here and hiking Runyan (of course!) and thinking about my movie -- which was a thought at that point. And I just knew I had one inside of me, but I didn't know what it was about. I just knew that I had one.
And now -- Bekah is writing away and I am consulting with her and giving her ideas and dreaming up my own ideas for it. Ashton has given us some ideas. And Jon Sheinberg has consulted us. And on Wednesday, when I met with Peter Benedek, the head of UTA, he confirmed my instinct about the end of the movie -- that felt great!
And so -- listening to ourselves and following our guts -- even when people may say we are up against the world or that might take a long time or that everyone is doing what we are doing or all of those questions that people may throw at us -- or worse yet -- all those questions we may throw at ourselves, follow your gut. Not your fear, which doubts. But your gut, that knows.
I had dinner tonight at Toi on Sunset with my friend Sarah before seeing our other friend Jennifer in a super fun Sketch Comedy Show and she was saying that I completely agree with. (dangling modifier -- sorry, Mom!)
She said that she and her best friend have this idea about who we are, that we are who we are -- our core -- since we are young. Say 12 years old.
Sarah and her friend use the metaphor of a ball of yarn. That our core is the center of the yarn that we begin to wrap around as we get older.
And so, in the beginning we are the tightest core of the yarn and then, as the years go by the yarn keeps tying around that core, protecting us, protecting what is truly us. But we remain that center -- that juicy part, that part that begins the whole ball of yarn.
And I feel that way too. I am in many ways that same girl I was at twelve. Same brown eyes and strong arms, same ambition and creative spirit. Same desire to met everyone, strike up a conversation with nearly everyone. (Most popular in the yearbook in 8th grade -- all downhill since then :) And yet -- as I was saying to Sarah tonight, I am beginning to realize my dreams at that age. Writing my books and starring in movies and a delectable sitcom!!! All coming true... And tonight on the radio, the dj was talking about some young wife calling in about her husband and how much she loves him and that they were in the hot tub and I was like, aaaaaaaahhhhhh. That sounds nice.
But they are indeed all happening.
Sylvestor Stallone and The Eye in the head of the poet & Sarah's Ball of Yarn.
Sweet things to think on as I drift off to sleep... Inspiring me to:
1. Honor the girl I once was at twelve.
2. Make my movie with a vision. Like a poet.
3. And like Sly, star in it, make my own history.
Ahhhh... I shall dream of a hot tub and a lovely man by my side.
1. Emailing a link to a great actor with whom I am going to work -- to give him ideas for his show.
2. Emailed VO agent in NYC to thank him for LA referral.
3. Meeting tomorrow for my Little Beast Theater Company, planning that out.
4. Prepping my package d/o for UTA Peter
5. Wild Card -- I have to think something up to stretch myself!
Get out there, you little blades, and push your dreams into the sun. It is TIME.
Let's be Slys and Orsons and Balls of the greatest yarn.