Sunday, August 29, 2010

Happy Birthday, MJ!!!

She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene,
I said, 'Don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one,
Who will dance on the floor in the round?'

My blog tonight, my little blades, is dedicated to the human being who has inspired me more than all others... I have always adored Michael Jackson, ever since I was little. And he still continues to inspire me today. He is the reason I put post-its around my house reminding me of my dream, of my worth, he reminds me to work hard, really hard, to be proud, to strive and to always always always share my gift with the world.

He had a killer work ethic, a massively natural gift, and a love of humanity & the earth, which I share. And I continue to work on my work ethic -- to balance it with my life, to balance my life too. Michael taught me this too. By the things he longed to do and maybe did, but maybe didn't do... But it is because of his natural gift combined with his work ethic that he shined as brightly as he did for sooo long. He is a one of a kind and I will always treasure his heartbreakingly natural gift along with his beautiful humanity.

I am honored to have written and directed a play about you starring Edi Gathegi and Jade Lane called, Billie Jean at the Graveyard. Because every day, I watched your videos and listened to your music and often I'd even cry at your gift. At your soul, which slid across the floor just as your shiny shoes did, for all the world to see. To sneak a peak at this magician, at this glittering being who woke up the darkest of nights and got the last man sitting to get up and dance. No one was untouched by you, Michael. I remember writing to you in my journal when I was in 6th grade, and I wrote, 

Everyone loved you last year. But I still love you. I always will. No one understands you, but I do.

This was and still is inside of my white journals with the little teddy bears emblazoned all over it. Now, I kept my word, my little blades, I do still love Michael. Admittedly, there was a time when I did not -- or at least I didn't think I did, or at least I judged him like the others did, imagined I knew what was going on -- made fun of his appearance and jumped to conclusions as well. But what I have learned about time, is we return to our original, our true loves, we come back, just as we come back home, either literally or spiritually, we return to the people and things we have ever truly loved. And I came back to Michael because the truth is, I loved him first. He was my first pop star crush. I have a photo of my very dignified Dutch grandmother sitting on my bed in the 80's looking so peaceful and sweet and behind her, blaring just above her head is Michael in his yellow vest and white pants for Human Nature. 

Perfection. Perfect mingling of my two worlds. The Dutch and the pop. The sophisticated and the young. The hip and the intelligent. The dreamer and the reality. The family and the fame. 

I send you a birthday wish tonight. That you may be smiling and moon walking for all of the angles in heaven, that they may all be on their tippie toes alongside you as you slide across the clouds and make God smile. Inspire the applause of the heavens. Light up the universe. Inspire stars to fall down to earth just to know what it was like to walk where you walked. Because I know down here on earth, we are still singing and dancing in your footsteps. We are still loving you. And I for one often times still feel like that 6th grader who had a crush on a young man with a great big dream and an even greater gift. Who loved more than most can see. Who had the whole world in his hands. If not in the tips of his toes...

May I walk in your beautiful footsteps and dance to my own rhythm, sing my own song as you so bravely sang yours. May I "sound my barbaric yawp" as you sounded yours. And may I light up the world as you so devastatingly lit up the souls of millions across the universe.

And may all of my little blades also break into song and dance and sound your sounds so that the world may be a more beautiful, more humane, more loving place because you all existed...

Love... Always...

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