Tonight I am watching All About Eve, eating Yogurtland, and Gatsby is sleeping on the end of the couch with me... I am thrilled to be home.
Today was a full day -- I hiked this morning, met with my teacher Shalom, worked for an hour, and then I met with a director whom my dear friend and fellow Little Beast referred me to. We sipped on fresh tea at The Chateau, and we talked and talked.
About the last movie he directed and what went right and what went wrong. And how all of it was actually good, a positive. Always.
Even when he spoke of the "dark cloud" of his experience on the film, his eyes sparkled.
I caught myself as we sat there chatting -- remembering when I came to Los Angeles with Natalie -- after The Diary of Anne Frank closed on Broadway. She was filming a movie with Susan Sarandon and I came along with her and lived with her at The Chateau for a few weeks. I sipped on chocolate and vanilla milkshakes, played ping-pong outside, swam in the pool, paged through magazines in our shared hotel room and supped on beet salads, I wondered about traffic -- I'd heard complaints, but they seemed like distant voices, while I sat poolside and wondered about finding an agent in LA...
Cut to years later. Here I am sitting with a director about my movie. My STAR VEHICLE. What Natalie (to bring the story full circle) had compelled me to have when she saw me in the reading for Loose Ends, she said, "Kieren, you were incredible. You need your own star vehicle."
And now I have one.
And it is a collaboration.
So... I caught myself sitting there and beaming, beaming really -- that this is where I was. This is what I was doing.
Back at The Chateau as a woman, with a movie, meeting with a director. My movie. Maybe my director. Talking about my accomplishments -- what has been happening in my life. The past few years...
Exciting.
And meeting with Shalom -- this was the first time that he told me he was going on "blind faith" with me -- that he knew enough to tell me things, trusting that I would know what to do. He was smiling at me as I was telling him about following my instincts, my updates with the voice-over bookings, the commercial, I spoke of Steven Spielberg, the head of NBC, of needing the greatest talent manager in my corner, it was the first time in all of our meetings that I spoke so confidently, so clearly, so knowingly, and Shalom's eyes gleamed as well.
Like the directors.
They both were watching me like proud pups.
And I am READY. I suppose this is what they are smiling on...
You can sniff it when someone is ready. You can see it in their eyes. You can sense it in their step. You, when you reach over to shake their hand, you can feel their readiness.
Ripeness is all.
Readiness is everything.
Shakespeare said it best.
I wondered what this was when I was an undergraduate at Barnard, when I studied with Professor Edward Tayler at Columbia -- I wondered over this word that Shakespeare wrote of so often -- but now I understand it.
And in fact, I told the director as much. That now I understand readiness.
And the truth is, my last tutoring is next Thursday. And then -- I am -- going to burst out with even more action than I have now. Focus. Unbridled. Clear.
I am mailing my 3 letters tomorrow. And I will travel back East for 9 days and then, while I am there I will talk to my friend about potentially starring in his show with him this fall. We shall see...
I am open, I know this, my little blades. Tomorrow I am going to read my movie -- from start to finish and I am going to see what needs to be added/edited and what else is magic already.
The time has come.
I can feel it in my molecules, every one of my body... And traveling back to New York is perfect right now.
Perfect.
What are you ready for, my little blades? What is burning inside of you? What is it that you crave more than anything?
Dream of this tonight, my little blades... Dream of what you most want. And create it -- take 5 steps to create it tomorrow.
And then know -- that our limits are boundless. Our timing is perfect. And when we believe in ourselves to the end of time and back, when we drenchingly believe in our ambition. That we are extraordinary. The world believes us right back.
And I believe in you all right back. My little blades. I dod, I do.
So... let us all place our dreams into the night, the night with which we have been acquainted. And trust in the moon and the stars that we are HERE. NOW. READY. And the deep black beautiful night will hear us and the sun will greet us brightly and sunnily and shine on us in the morning and all through the day...
And all through our extraordinary lives...
On this note, my little blades -- I must tell you that my passion now is:
publish my book/sign with the best book agent/get a great signing deal
attach great director/sign great actors to my movie/set a great crew and shoot date
star on HUGE TV show and then, skyrocket out/sign with the greatest talent manager and together sign with the best talent agency -- I'd actually LOVE to sign with a literary and talent agency -- under one roof. I'd like for it all to be WME. Where I started. I am coming home again, my little blades. But this time, the house is grander and with room for each and every one of you...
And to fall exquisitely and eternally in love. And tell him my dreams every night. Then, they shall become reality. Even telling you all now... it makes this all REAL. I can feel it, wondrous...
And finally to bring you all along with me -- inspire you all to bravely enclasp your dreams, have the courage to vociferate your dreams...
As John Lennon said, A dream you dream together is reality.
So -- speak out your dreams. And believe in them. We can all change the world this way. Break glass ceilings, transform mindsets, break records, set new ones, and make our impression, inimitable impression on the whole wide world...
We are capable of more than we can ever imagine. If only we believe and work hard and love love love... Because the world needs dreamers and the world needs love.
What shall we all contribute? How shall we leave this world a better place?
Think on these glorious things, my little blades.
And please know, I am right behind you every step of the way.
Love... Always.
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